


Call you mine.

by LovingYouThatWay, tit4eto



Series: Devotion. [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alpha Kim Hongjoong, Alpha Park Seonghwa, Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Wolves, Biting, Bottom Kim Hongjoong, Emotional Hurt, Falling In Love, Family Secrets, For Hongjoong xD, For Seonghwa, Friendship/Love, Guess who will finally appear here xD, Idiots in Love, Implied Mpreg, Kim Hongjoong is Whipped, Love Confessions, M/M, Mates, Misunderstandings, Pain, Park Seonghwa is Whipped, Past Violence, Possessive Behavior, Power Dynamics, Scars, Stubborn mates, Territorial Wars, This time Seonghwa will chase after his mate, Top Park Seonghwa, Werewolf Mates, Wolf Clan, Wolf Pack, Wolf clans matter here, Wolves, rogues - Freeform, wooyoung - Freeform, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24978307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingYouThatWay/pseuds/LovingYouThatWay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tit4eto/pseuds/tit4eto
Summary: Hongjoong's muscles were strained to their full potential. Exhaustion was slowly creeping under his skin, reminding him that he had to stop and catch his breath. But there was no time for rest, so this peculiar need was pushed back and buried under his desire to protect.To protect what he called his land.To protect his people.To protect his family.To protect his mate.~*~Two months had passed. Seonghwa had turned his back to his clan and declared that he wanted to go to the Kims’ territory and lead there along with Hongjoong. Many things had changed for the two of them for that short period of time, mostly the relationship that they were desperately trying to keep and understand.There was no time for mistakes. Not when danger was peeking behind the corner and another secret unveiled right in their home.
Relationships: Choi San/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: Devotion. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757140
Comments: 52
Kudos: 118





	1. The alpha's words.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo we are back with the second part of the Devotion serieees! Applause xD  
> No joke, this fic took us longer time to write, develope characters, feelings, problems and so on !  
> We would be very glad if you guys love this fic as much as the first part, though it can be a bit darker at some times xD  
> At least now Seonghwa runs after Joong's ass and Joong thinks that his mate doesn't love him outside the bond!  
> Good drama for boring times xD  
> Enjoy and comment ! <3

**Chapter1**

His muscles were strained to their full potential. Exhaustion was slowly creeping under his skin, reminding him that he had to stop and catch his breath. But there was no time for rest, so this peculiar need was pushed back and buried under his desire to protect. 

To protect what he called his land.

To protect his people. 

To protect his family.

To protect his mate. 

Hongjoong was running like there was no tomorrow. They were once again attacked and his people were used to it. But ever since he had mated to the Parks heir such disrespect had ceased. Apparently their enemies were only giving them a break and not fully forgetting about them. 

It was a quiet night. Too quiet. As if the woods around them expected the violence which was going to take place. As if the animals were keeping their breaths and awaited for the ugly scenes to start. It was as if the world was mocking them and stood still, while Hongjoong’s blood was boiling inside his veins. 

It was a good thing that his people had experience and knew what to do. The ones above certain age and capable enough were brought to fight, while the ones who could not participate were left behind to defend their homes. Nobody wanted a small pup dying on his watch, or an elder to have a heart attack only from the exhaustion, not even making it to the real fight. 

Everyone who was with him, alphas and betas alike were decent fighters. The skilled ones were less. That was not going to bring anyone’s spirit down, though. During the years they’d stood their ground as if on pure stubbornness. Hongjoong had participated in enough combats to know his strongest and weakest traits. On his sides were San and Mingi. The ones on whom he could to count with his life - and he had done it numerous of times during their not so long life. 

They were being attacked from different parts of their lands. Small groups, of at least ten wolves in each one, were slowly and steadily progressing inside and the aim was clear - to get to the center of their community. 

That was what made Hongjoong so furious. They were not a big and strong clan. There was no dignity in what those offenders were doing. They could not be labeled as criminals as it was not against any law to defeat the weaker ones… after all it was in their nature to eat or be eaten. But Hongjoong could not see himself being food for anyone soon. Not when his teeth were sharp and easily found skin to rip from the culprits that thought that the Kims were that weak that would leave them be. 

The three of them were running side by side and fighting whoever came across them. Howls and wails were echoing through the trees and the mere thought that the one who was making such desperate sounds was one of his people, was making him run faster and angrier. 

As if from nowhere, Hongjoong was thrown down. He had not seen the wolf coming and that lead to sharp teeth to jab at his side and draw blood out of him. Before he could even growl at his attacker though, the brown fur of his brother’s wolf was onto him as well. For a moment there, Hongjoong felt as if he’s going to be crushed by the two wolves on him, but within seconds he was able to breath again. He was on his four legs wasting no time and jumped at the rolling pair couple of meters from him. He gnawed furiously at one hind leg while San copied him and bit the other leg of the attacker. Mingi was going for the wolf’s neck. 

Hongjoong heard the trample of more wolves running towards them. It was stupid for all three of them to be going at one wolf when they were obviously being surrounded by the rest of his group. He turned around and listened carefully, there was no anticipation in him, but more like desire to get this over with. They were outnumbered and surrounded. 

San was once again at his side, leaving Mingi to handle the unknown offender. 

Then a gun shot was heard.

Hongjoong’s heart skipped a beat. 

No matter how many times enemy had come to rip their lands apart and bring down their people … rarely human weapons were involved. 

A pained whine, on the border with cry made Hongjoong turn back quickly. His brother was on the ground while the wolf was biting at him as if with a purpose to feed out of him. 

Mingi was hurt. 

Hongjoong forgot about strategies and tactics, about how he had to think about at least 2 steps ahead before the enemy.. yet when he saw his brother covered with blood and skin being ripped from his body, he saw red. 

His claws found Mingi’s attacker’s eyes and scratched with malice. His teeth found jaw and ripped with such strength that the rest of the wolf’s body fell down as if it was sack of bones and nothing else. 

Another gunshot followed and Hongjoong literally felt the scratch at his side, but he had jumped in time to avoid any further damage. 

San’s amber form was on the other side of Mingi. They had to defend him and bring him home alive. 

Home…. where Seongwha was. 

Seonghwa. 

Hongjoong had to erase him from his mind if he wanted to stay put and protect his brother. 

His eyes were checking the bushes, trying to find out where the shooter was hiding, so he could take him down, but the night was covering everything in its darkness and even though he had no trouble in adjusting his vision for the dark hours, the sound of blood rushing to his head from the erratic heartbeats of his heart from the worry he had for his brother and everyone else.. it was distracting him. 

San was growling and barking from one side to the other in clear warning. 

Hongjoong lowered his head low and threateningly bared his teeth. He was not going to let anyone hurt his family any further, but the shooter was menace. If he wanted for them to live, he had to get rid off the one with the gun. 

A branch cracked and Hongjoong jumped at the direction from which the sound came. His eyes caught the man moving, clearly trying to run since he knew he had no chance against his wolf. Hongjoong could hear rambles of thuds from other wolves behind him, but they were too late. His claws already reached for the shooter’s shoulder. He left a big scratch and the scent of blood reached his nostrils. His happiness was short lived once, when teeth bit at his back. 

Hongjoong used his hind legs to throw the offender off his back, but the other was gnawing at him fiercely. 

The pain which surged through him was real. His previously received wounds ached as well. 

From the corner of his eyes he saw San who was trying to fight two at once. He might have smaller form since he was a beta, but he compensated the lack with pliancy and resiliency. He was leading the two wolves on the opposite direction of Mingi, making them chase him instead. Hongjoong’s heart clenched at the sight. 

And then he heard the familiar howling. 

He saw black and white. 

He came back.  _ Finally _ . 

_ **************** _

A loud thud from outside made the kids cringe, catch each other's hands and press their bodies even tighter against the wall. The pregnant women there were guarding them, but the fear in their own eyes was evident. 

Yeosang was there too, telling them to stay put, a serious look plastered over his handsome face. His hair was sticking to the sides of his face with sweat and his boyfriend Jongho, beta from the Kim clan, was standing beside him. They were ensuring the scared pups and women that everything would be okay.

They had an  _ alpha  _ there. 

The grange that turned into their hideout had everything to serve them for the night, but if the fight outside was going to be that long, then there was no hope for survival. 

Seonghwa had his eyes on the door, his heart clenched, throat dry, mind elsewhere.

The second when the howling from the mountain came, the whole clan raised up from their comfortable positions around the fire camp and started splitting in groups. Seonghwa had never seen something like this before. Hoseok gave out orders, since Hongjoong and Seonghwa were yet not qualified of leading such kind of attack. The clan needed to recruit, gather up where the weak spots of their territory was, and secure it from the intruders. 

Who were they and why did they attack in the first place was mystery to Seonghwa? In his head, the scenario was so fucked up that he blacked out in the first minutes, not even hearing what Hongjoong yelled at his face. Yunho had dragged Seonghwa to this hideout and Yeosang blocked it along with several more omegas and a beta pup. 

Fucking omegas were more useful than Seonghwa was. 

The terror filled up Seonghwa faster than the water filled up his lungs when he had first jumped into the sea years ago. But it felt the same way. He felt  _ hopeless _ . A powerful figure that nobody wanted to use, because it was damaged. 

Even in a hard time like this one, when everything seemed to crumble and wolves were going to die, Seonghwa was still pushed away from death, because he was  _ scared _ . 

The anger inside of him was burning, his low growls were directed to nobody in particular, but whenever the rest in that grange heard him, they snuggled against each other, thinking that danger was coming closer to them. They thought that the alpha there, was going to save them. But they had no idea how useless Seonghwa was. 

He stared at the door, expecting that sooner or later, somebody was going to burst in and kill all these babies and women. The thought of that was making his blood cold. 

Seonghwa knew that no matter what his brain was telling him to do, his instinct would protect everyone in a heated time like that. Even now, not knowing where his mate was, was making his wild side rumble with something primitive that felt almost too familiar. 

The rogues turned Seonghwa into a weapon, why couldn’t he be used as one?

For Hongjoong and the safety of his clan, Seonghwa could lose his mind. Lose himself and find him. 

Hongjoong could fix him later………

……….. if he was alive.

“I can’t stay here.” Seonghwa suddenly snapped, startling Yeosang and Yunho at the same time. “I have to find him.” He started walking towards the door when two hands stopped him. Seonghwa tried to push them away, but he heard Yunho’s pleading voice and what he said made his blood freeze even more. 

“Hongjoong said that you  _ must  _ stay here. Me and you, we’ve never been a part of a battle like this, so the chance to fuck up the plans is very high. You can’t leave if Hongjoong says that you can’t leave.” Yunho said, receiving a low growl in return.

So all the alphas, the betas, even omegas were out there, fighting for their land and Seonghwa, the head of the clan, was hiding like a coward, proving even the bad guys that he was an unsuccessful mate with no gut to fight. 

And Hongjoong… Hongjoong was out there, fighting without him. 

“It’s based on instinct, Yunho. A fight is a fight, I’m an alpha, I can’t hide like this.” Seonghwa hissed, not wanting to scare the kids or the pregnant women, but he was on safe distance from everyone now, talking with his keeper and the omega as if they were his baby sitters and he needed a permission to walk out of that hideout. 

“Your instincts are messed up, dude, you know that you can’t be a part of any battle.” Yunho was trying to reason him, but the distress that stood in Seonghwa’s heart was only feeding his anxiety and for a moment there, he felt tired. 

Tired of being weak, tired of being messed up, tired of being pitied, hurt, humble. He was a man, he could fight and die if he was meant to, but to leave his mate alone in a time that Hongjoong most needed him, was equal to treason. And Seonghwa had enough of being degraded. 

“I wanna be with my mate.” Seonghwa growled low, hearing Yeosang’s angry sigh from his left. “What, you wanna convince me how right it is to hide?”

“He suddenly is more alpha than he had ever been.” The omega said and cocked an eyebrow, rolling his eyes all over Seonghwa. “I told Hongjoong that you will be more of a man while being here, and for two months, I see progress. Now calm down, what we were given, was orders. If you go against the orders of the Kims, you will still receive a punishment. With respect to your position, Seonghwa,  _ we  _ need you here. If enemy attack the pregnant ones and the kids, the clan will mourn more than you can imagine. So you…. you have to protect them.” 

Seonghwa’s lips parted, his metal piercing popping out in a nervous manner as he traced his bottom lip with it and sighed. _ The fuck was wrong with this clan?  _

“This is what I have to do as a  _ clan  _ member.” Seonghwa said, eyes piercing through Yeosang’s petite face. “But as a  _ mate… _ ”

“As a mate you should trust Hongjoong.” Yeosang said stoically and raised his chin up. 

“Easy for you to say that.” Seonghwa’s look traced Yeosang judgingly. No, he was not going to compare, he wasn’t that kind of a guy………. “When you have your mate, your fucking life will take a bad turn. If you think that it’s easy to worry about the one who…”

“It was an order,  _ alpha _ .” Yeosang insisted, but Seonghwa’s eyes narrowed so hard that the omega took a step back, frowning by the bad response that he got from the other. 

“Seonghwa, don’t intimidate him, he is a friend.” Yunho tried to put sense into his head, but nor he or Yeosang, or anybody else would understand the way that Seonghwa was feeling once that his mind processed the situation and he realized that being a coward was more dangerous than being out there, side by side with the strongest alpha. Seonghwa could lead the battle with him and be his pilar when Hongjoong needed it. 

Protecting the weaker ones was one thing… but hiding…. this was wrong. 

“You have my phone. If shit goes south, call me. I won’t switch to wolf.” Seonghwa told his keeper and Yunho’s jaw dropped. 

Everyone outside was in their wolf form, wolves were heard running, growling, howling. To walk around in a human form was equal to suicide. And Yunho would never let his alpha put himself into a danger like that. 

“No. You cannot…” He tried to speak again, but then Seonghwa’s loud and determined question startled him. 

“Is anyone here mated? Do you have a mate outside, fighting?” He asked, watching how the women and some of the omegas looked between each other and then turned to him, nodding their heads. He saw almost everyone of the mature ones to nod, and it only encouraged him to give them something to hold on. 

Something to fight for. 

_ The alpha’s words.  _

“I’m gonna go out now, scout the area and see how the attack is being handled. I will make sure that everyone out there is safe.” Seonghwa said, a deep frown plastered on his face and determination making his voice sound clear and strong. 

The people who counted on that power looked back at him and kept nodding their heads, agreeing with whatever the alpha decided to do. Seonghwa, as born fighter, couldn’t live anymore in the way that he used to. 

To be held back as if he was not good enough. His pride wouldn’t let it happen again, but that wasn’t the reason why he was dying to go out. He just desperately needed to see if Hongjoong was okay before the worries and the lack of information about the whole fight, freaked him out completely. 

“Seonghwa, are you mad?” Yeosang whined, throwing his hands in the air. “Yes, go out now, leave us alone, die and Hongjoong will kill us all because of you.”

This time, Seonghwa’s growl was straight to the other’s face and Yeosang’s hairs stood up with fear. He made a step back, obviously accepting the final warning as he knew his position better than anyone. The omega just crossed his arms in front of his chest and still tried to act tough even when he was threatened by a stronger being. 

Seonghwa could remember a time when Yeosang was shaking in front of him, but now the omega was at his own land, sucked powers from it and acted like a stronger version of himself. If even an omega could manage doing that, then why everyone felt scared that Seonghwa couldn’t handle it? 

“I can’t leave him behind, sorry. Not again.” Yunho shoved his phone into Yeosang’s hand and threw him a look full of sympathy. “Just call. If it’s needed.”

“I have a phone too, you big fool.” Yeosang spat back, pushing the phone back into Yunho’s hands. “But if that expedition of yours turns into failure…”

“I will say that it wasn’t your fault.” Yunho shot him a small smile before he looked back and saw Seonghwa freeze on his spot. 

The three of them, plus everyone else in the grange heard a gunshot. From then on, Yunho couldn’t keep Seonghwa in one place anymore.

He ran out of the hideout, eyes roaming the entire area wildly. Yunho stuck to Seonghwa’s side, his big wolf form protecting him from every sound, growl, bark, that they could hear in the distance. The area where they hid the women and children was a housing part of the town where most of the clan’s elders were at their own homes. Everything was dark as anyone dared to turn the lights on, but Seonghwa could see the fire. 

He could hear mixed voices, inside of his head, linked wolf connections, but he could understand the unknown voices as well, their threatening commands echoing in the whole square. Seonghwa was a Park, a member of a clan that was unfamiliar to such violent attacks. Where he was raised, politics was what mattered. The power of being the strongest clan of the hierarchy, had spoiled all of them. 

Being a Kim now felt different. Seonghwa’s status probably mattered less than the Kim’s, but that didn’t change the fact that his blood was poisoned with the royal blood of the Parks. 

He might be unprepared to lead a battle or fight for territory in such predatory way, but Seonghwa was still an alpha. And he was surprised how he didn’t chicken out like he used to do during fights on the Arena. 

Two months had passed. Seonghwa turned his back to his clan and declared that he wanted to go to the Kims’ territory and lead there. Dara accepted his desire to leave, probably knowing the reason behind it. Seonghwa didn’t let Chan or Jia to be there as he left along with Hongjoong, San, Mingi, Yunho and Eden. 

But Seonghwa would never forget his mother’s last words. 

‘ _ You are my son, no matter where you go, who you fight for. You are a Park. You know how dangerous is there.’ _ she had whispered, her eyes reflecting Seonghwa’s sharp ones.  _ ‘You are not alone there. And you are always welcomed back.’ _

Seonghwa knew what his mother implied. She wanted him back after he change his mind again. She didn’t want Chan and Jia to lead the Park clan after the treason that the crazy Jia had done, harming Seonghwa’s mate. But if the heir wanted to go to another clan, Dara couldn’t do anything against his will if she still had her older son. 

And somehow, Seonghwa managed to think about his decisions now, when there was a real threat at their yard. 

He heard Yunho growl and turned to look on left, noticing a person. He was in his human form, blood streaming down his cut sleeve. He was pressing the wound on his shoulder, looking pale and painfully hurt. It was dark, but Seonghwa could still notice the hesitation in the man’s eyes when he noticed them. And then he lifted his wounded hand, holding a gun against Seonghwa. 

The first instinct that he had, was to  _ growl _ . The enemy was a beta, he could shoot Seonghwa, but his chance to survive was low. Yunho was about to jump for a kill and Seonghwa stopped him, raising a fist up. 

Yunho’s angry response didn’t reach him as he glared at the guy with the gun, flashing him a side smirk. 

“Shoot. If you haven’t heard yet, I am a Park.” Seonghwa said, diplomacy loud and clear in his voice. He made a step towards the guy and his eyes shone with anger. That gun was probably loaded. One shot and Seonghwa was going to snap. He wanted to clear things out before any of that could happen, so he used the only strategy that he knew by heart - the Parks pride. “Killing me will end your clan.”

The man’s eyes screwed, but he remained silent. 

Seonghwa made a step towards the guy, his hands still lowered down, but his claws were out, preparing for an attack. 

Just then, another wolf showed up behind the guy, stepping slow like a predator, keeping distance from Yunho and Seonghwa. It was Eden. 

Seonghwa’s eyes narrowed as Eden jumped, attacking a wolf that showed up from the corner of a building. Yunho immediately ran towards him, helping him out to stop the rest that probably came to pick up the shooter. Just then Seonghwa’s blood started to boil. The adrenaline rush made him tense, but his posture remained confident and strong as he was approaching the wounded guy. 

“Between us, I will torture you.” Seonghwa said, something at the back of his head started ringing. He wasn’t that kind of a guy. He wasn’t going to  _ really  _ do that, but the threat had such seriousness that for a second there, Seonghwa saw the guy shudder with confusion. “Are you asking yourself now, who the fuck am I? A Park, here at the Kims’ land, a torturer? Trust me, you cannot compare to an alpha.  _ Not to me _ .” He had no idea what force moved his body and let his brain process such words, but the more he was talking, the better he scared the guy with the gun. 

That wasn’t Seonghwa’s purpose. He wanted to leave a message and sneak out information. The scent of that pack was unfamiliar, but they weren’t rogues. Rogues would never shudder, they would never stop and listen, negotiate or pick sides. They were exactly what Seonghwa showed right now. 

Rogues had tortured him, so he used that mentality over his enemy now. 

“Let me ask then. Who are you?” Seonghwa asked, few steps away from the guy. The two of them could hear the growls, the whimpers of wolves, the fight that was happening to the side was between Eden, Yunho and the ones who probably wanted to save their shooter. 

That pack was organized. They had strategy and if this person here was wounded, it meant that he probably hurt someone as well and got caught. And the fact that he might have hurt Hongjoong made Seonghwa’s canines grow as he rumbled angrily, his hands clenched into fists. 

“Shoot me if you dare, but I bet you won’t expect what's gonna come at you next.” Seonghwa reached out and the guy pulled the trigger. 

The bullet penetrated his shoulder and knocked him back, but Seonghwa kept his balance. He took a sharp breath in, closing his eyes for a moment. His body absorbed the pain, anger filling up his chest as he realized that it was silver bullet. The burning sensation was still dull, his face gave out no pain and once again, Seonghwa got a sarcastic reminder of how senseless he was to pain. 

The fact that this guy dared to shoot was what made him lift his hand up and grab the other’s wrist. The beta was startled when Seonghwa looked at him. He stared as if he was seeing a monster, fighting Seonghwa over to get the gun. 

The battle was lost as Seonghwa snatched the gun and pointed it at the man’s face, watching how his eyes filled with terror. 

“Rogue?” The man’s voice was raspy, eyes studying Seonghwa over and over again, as if a piece of him didn’t match the puzzle that he was trying to settle down. 

That was the strategy that Seonghwa used, until the madness started to shake him dangerously. “Did I flick a sparkle in your brain?” Seonghwa asked, loading the gun. “Tell your leader that he is gonna pay for this. This clan is still leaded by Hoseok and Hana Kim. However, they have an alpha pair behind their backs and I…” His voice raised as a nasty smirk flashed for the other. “........I will make sure that if I catch you, each one of you will have a taste of what I’ve gone through, you disrespectful bastards.”

The fight had stopped as Seonghwa shot the guy on his weakened shoulder, watching him stumble back with pain. 

“Deliver my message. Or else I won’t have a better purpose to let you live.” Seonghwa’s stone cold expression didn’t break. The man’s horrified eyes sparkled and he turned around, running for his life. 

Seonghwa’s heart was beating so fast that he heard it echoing in his head. His hand that held the gun was shaking, jaw clenched hard. For a moment he went deaf and numb, his whole body trying to fight the madness. It was too hard. 

Memories started floating his head and he felt dizzy, panting as if the air outside wasn’t enough. 

His hand tried to grasp something and then he felt how furr touched his fingertips. Yunho. Eden stood on his other side, letting out a low growl. They had chased away the attackers. 

Seonghwa was useful for a moment, despite the fact that he broke an order. The three of them stood on that square for a moment and listened. The echo of voices and howls, announced that some side pack of the Kim clan had joined the fight and guided it to victory. 

They successfully pushed the violent attack to an end. 

Seonghwa was still shaken up, knowing that his actions weren’t going to be justified, but the need to find Hongjoong started to lead his body again. 

‘You are wounded, dude, the fight is over. Let’s go to the doctors.’ Yunho’s wolf whined, pressed so tight to Seonghwa’s side that he could feel his heat.

He put a hand on Yunho’s big brown head and shrugged. “Not until I see Hongjoong.” He stated seriously, heading to a random direction. They started seeing wolves, wounded ones, dead unfamiliar wolves were thrown here and there at the time of fight. And his gut twisted to the point of making him feel sick. 

Seonghwa’s previous stupor and anger vanished, replaced by pure fear. He started pushing people away, watching how families were gathering up, hugging each other, taking in their wounded sons and mates. Seonghwa saw familiar faces everywhere, but he couldn’t find his beautiful white wolf. The panic increased as he walked further and further into the heated zone of the city where the attackers striked first and his eyes widened with shock. 

He could see more dead bodies here, but everyone else seemed proud of what they had done. They were killing to protect their land. Protect their beloved people. They were true fighters.

And then Seonghwa saw him. His beautiful Hongjoong, wrapped by a long blanket, his dyed blond hair was shining under the street lamps. His tiny hands were wrapped around him and he seemed disturbed. As if he was worried. 

Suddenly, nothing else mattered. The state of Hongjoong was urging Seonghwa to walk faster so he could pull him in his arms and sooth whatever troubled him. His heart started pounding again, and right before Seonghwa could call Hongjoong’s name, he saw another blonde man pulling Hongjoong into his embrace.

_ *************** _

“I followed the pack that first sneaked in our woods at the western side. It was the Im clan.” Jiho, a leader alpha from the Kim clan, who apparently had spent several months further at the border of the western territory of the Kims. 

Seonghwa’s eyes were locked at the guy. Blonde messy hair, dusty face, Jiho had a scratch along his left eye, three scars spiralling down to his cheek bone. His left iris was white, probably a color caused by the injury, but Seonghwa couldn’t care less. He himself had a few scars, caused by silver. But people weren’t looking at Seonghwa like they were looking at Jiho. 

Seonghwa was so concentrated to check out the guy that he didn’t even listen to what Jiho was saying. 

Some might say that Seonghwa was exceedingly jealous over the closeness that he saw Hongjoong share with the older alpha, but that scene that Seonghwa was about to run into, got interrupted when Hoseok, Hongjoong’s father, showed up and called for all of them to follow. 

He needed each leader of the split teams to give a report and Seonghwa had no time to think of his own as he was busy to ignore his mate. Hongjoong, who accepted some random asshole close to himself and even returned a hug. At this point, Seonghwa wanted to just turn on his heels and leave. Let the family deal with their personal drama and be a good Park, act like an asshole for the rest of the night until Hongjoong realized that his actions were questionable. 

Yes, the things between Seonghwa and Hongjoong weren’t spicy at all lately. Somehow after the poisoning case in Seonghwa’s mansion, Hongjoong grew kind of distant to him. He wasn’t talking about it, he didn’t look like he was troubled by anything, but Seonghwa was a grown ass boy, he could easily recognize when someone wanted to avoid him and damn, a part of Seonghwa felt as if the past was repeating, this time the one trying to dump him was Hongjoong, no matter how stupid and ridiculous it sounded. 

The arranged mating between him and Hongjoong was still evident in both their actions and their relationship was coming and going like waves, crushing in shore only to pull back after a while. 

And just when Seonghwa thought that he was too slow in his attempts to approach Hongjoong, some Jiho showed up, looking tough and strong _. The hero of the current attack.  _

“You could have warned us sooner, Jiho.” Hoseok spoke, cutting Seonghwa’s thoughts. He looked at the older alpha and saw a frown plastered on his bloody face. None of them had the time to change or bandage, as only the leaders of the defense plan were gathered up in a hall that Seonghwa himself was stepping in for the first time. 

Probably the Kims used that hall when they made plans or strategies. 

“We tried, but we had already transformed into wolves, tried to follow the pack faster before it reach the town.” Jiho explained, his eyes traveling from one member of the clan, to another, until his eyes stopped on Seonghwa.

The moment when their gazes met, Seonghwa’s eyes narrowed. 

He had limited himself to staying quiet, until Hoseok ask him a question, but damn, Seonghwa wanted to interrupt this cocky asshole Jiho and tell everyone his own point of view. 

“We have many injured, but we still handled the attack well. Except for….” Hoseok said, finally looking at Hongjoong, who sat next to his mother, both of them wearing similar sulking expressions. “....Mingi got shot during the fight. He is taken care of.” He mumbled, turning himself towards Seonghwa. 

When the older alpha’s met his own, Seonghwa frowned. He sucked in a breath and waited in expectation until Hoseok ask him about the shooter. How would he know anyway? If Eden hadn’t shared anything to the clan leader, Hoseok wouldn’t be aware and….

“When I arrived, the shooter wasn’t there. But we heard another gunshot.” Jiho was still staring at Seonghwa as he spoke, the questioning look in his weird eyes made Seonghwa cringe. He knew what the fucker was thinking. Seonghwa had to be laying next to Mingi instead of being here, acting as if nothing happened. 

But if he had his soul connected to someone, Jiho would understand the reason why Seonghwa still couldn’t leave that room. Because Hongjoong was there, having deep and still bleeding wounds on his skin and someone had to tell him to go get a check up, but this ridiculous report was more important. 

He sighed, forcing many looks on himself. As he looked around, Seonghwa’s frown only deepened. 

“We ran into him and he shot me.” Seonghwa said immediately, noticing a glint in Hoseok’s eyes when he heard him speak. “I left the hideout because I needed to find Hongjoong and…”

“You broke my orders.” Hoseok’s stoic expression only hardened. “You had to stay there and protect.”

Seonghwa rather felt than saw the intense stare from Hongjoong, which was the first act of acknowledgement from his side ever since they got into the hall. 

“Well, I didn’t follow the order.” Seonghwa felt like a fool for a moment, knowing that more judging eyes were digging holes in his face. He was a new member of the clan, that was his first fight, if they expected him to behave, then he had to be previously prepared of what to expect. Since he wasn’t, his instinct was more important than a fucking order. “I ran into the shooter as Yunho and Eden fought some members of the pack.”

“You had the gun.” Hoseok reminded him, and just then Seonghwa thought about the weapon. He’d dropped it angrily when he saw his mate hugging some asshole and Eden picked it and carried it away since Seonghwa was too occupied with personal drama to care about his previous rage. Or he just didn’t want to think about it. 

“Yes, and I shot the guy. I made him leave and deliver a message to his clan.” Seonghwa’s voice was loud and clear, confident for the first time. As he stood in front of the clan members now, he didn’t feel like the foolish boy who had no idea what to do. He felt like the one who wanted to do something about that attack and he believed that Hoseok would consider his offer. “I want us to challenge them. If you know the clan’s name, then send invitation for the arena. Let’s see if they can really fight.”

“Seonghwa, go get your wound cleaned.” Eden’s voice cut him shortly after and he wanted to growl at his trainer, but the look that Eden had in his dark eyes wasn’t warning or angry. It was concerned. “Hoseok will consider the offer. It is reasonable for you two, as a pair representing the Kim clan, to throw an open invitation to this clan and humiliate them at the arena. But you know what that means.” Eden said and frowned.

“I don’t care anymore.” Seonghwa said in return, moving his eyes to Jiho. 

The guy was glaring back, examining him just in the same way that Seonghwa did earlier, probably judging his looks now more than his words. What Seonghwa did now was to imply that Hongjoong was taken and once that he did as he wished, he really wanted to leave the room. 

“I will think about the offer.” Hoseok said and hummed, rubbing his hands together. “Now go, everyone who is wounded, get a check up and rest. We will continue this meeting tomorrow.”

Seonghwa sighed, turning around to leave first, but a nagging feeling made him wait on the doorway, eyes searching for Hongjoong in the crowd of wounded faces and frowns. He saw him raising up from his spot, his mother kissing the side of his temple gently, rubbing his shoulders while talking something to him. 

It was over. 

Seonghwa’s shoulders dropped in disappoint and he looked away, thinking that he failed at another thing that he wanted to do today - be there for Hongjoong and tell him that everything would be alright.

_ *************** _

Couple of hours passed, during which the mates got their wounds stitched, checked up on Mingi’s situation, talked with their keepers and finally made it to their house. 

When they moved to the Kims, Hongjoong’s parents thoughtfully provided them with a building which they could call their home. It was not that close to the crowded area, on the contrary, it was by the end of the road closest to the forest. It was secluded and was convenient, in order to provide them privacy. 

Of course, not farther than 500 meters was the house which their keepers occupied, which made them their only neighbors. San and Yunho were now roommates. Match made in heaven - Hongjoong could not believe how well those two adjusted and fitted together. It was scary even, especially when the betas combined forces and used them against him and Seonghwa. 

Seonghwa. Speaking about him, he was currently pacing half naked around their living quarters and Hongjoong was having troubles with detaching his eyes from the firm body which was being so carelessly displayed for his eyes. 

“Why did you choose pentagram for the tattoo?” The question was so random that it came too awkward even for his ears. For months they lived more like roommates than mates and Hongjoong wasn’t sure what to do and behave. Seonghwa had opened in front of him and made his wishes known, Hongjoong had acknowledged them, stood beside him when Seonghwa turned his back on his family, held his hand when they entered the lands that now were theirs… yet the second when they were provided with space where they can be themselves - both of them shrinked back to their shells. 

Hongjoong pushed back the bangs which fell and covered his eyes, disturbing the view. Which only reminded him why he had to change the color of his hair… couple of mornings back, when Seonghwa was still drowsy with sleep, he muttered that he liked his red hair. 

Hongjoong had bleached his hair the next day. 

Yet seeing the drawing on the other’s back… covering scars, but Hongjoong clearly remembered the feeling of the skin under his fingertips. 

“Love, wisdom, truth, justice and virtue. These are the five qualities that one must develop in order to become perfect.” Seonghwa said, stopping on his tracks to give Hongjoong a sarcastic smile. “I have none of these qualities yet.” He dergraded himself and decided to use the moment that the other started talking to him, to return the favor. 

They had so much to discuss, yet Hongjoong spoke of his ridiculous tattoo.

“Plus, I might be a crazy occultist, right? I mean, how much do you know about my interests?” He kept the irony in his voice and approached his mate, sitting on the edge of the couch where Hongjoong was currently sitting, and brought a hand to his mate’s messy hair. His fingers slid through the soft hair and the fresh scent of rain and roses filled up the space, making Seonghwa breath deeply.

“Right.” Hongjoong sarcastically replied. For some reason, he didn’t like the touch of the other. It was not like before, when he was anticipating each attempt of intimacy that the other initiated. The blonde could not stop himself from brushing Seonghwa’s hand away from himself. The action was not subtle at all. He wanted Seonghwa to notice. 

“So you do  _ this… _ ” Seonghwa put more meaning behind his words as his voice raised due to his instant irritation caused by the clear rejection. He didn’t even stop himself when the feeling slipped under his skin. “But you crush into some asshole’s arms for comfort?” He brought Jiho in the most suitable moment, standing up from the couch so he could put a line between Hongjoong and himself. 

“What?” Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Who is Jiho?” Seonghwa knew that the asshole wasn’t just a random clan member, because most of them weren’t clingy to Hongjoong, despite how open up that clan was and how people interacted with each other usually. There was something else, Seonghwa had felt it with his whole being and the urge to get rid of Jiho was only proving that his instinct was showing him a threat. 

The threat was the war hero, the one who acted cocky and brought respect in everyone’s hearts. Probably Hongjoong’s heart as well, judging to how he was looking at that fucker. And Seonghwa spend enough time in observing. 

“And you clearly don’t know anything about my friends.” Hongjoong would lie if he had to say that he was not irritated at the way Seonghwa was acting. His question implied something that was way too clear for him to notice, but no matter how distant they’d grown to be, that did not matter that he felt nothing when Seonghwa accused him openly. “What now? You’re gonna go all  _ alpha  _ on me and ask for devotion?” 

“What?” Seonghwa’s eyebrows jumped high in surprise. He felt startled by the response that he got on the question that he asked. Hongjoong was once again clever, throwing the ball in his side of the court and Seonghwa had to respond fast if he wanted to get his answer without ending up in a fight. But his pride, alongside with his stupid anger issues became the reason why he growled at his mate and crossed the invisible line, only to point at his pretty face. “If you wanna have this conversation, go on. Tell me shit about your  _ friends _ .” He said, retreating back to his position and eyed the other with suspicion. 

“There’s absolutely no need to act so possessive.” Hongjoong raised on his legs and stood right in front of Seonghwa. Just inches from him. “Jiho is a  _ close  _ friend. But I have to say... you acted better when you met him tonight … better than the ridiculous behavior in front of Yeosang.” A dangerous smirk was playing on the blonde’s lips when mentioning the brief meeting Seonghwa had had with the omega in their first days of mated couple. The time when Hongjoong had laid eyes for the first time of Seonghwa’s wolf whom he had hidden so well from him back then. 

“I’m composed now.” Seonghwa replied, going back to frowning as he felt how Hongjoong was only edging him, avoiding the important matter in the topic only to push his buttons. And damn, he didn’t want to go back to that moment when he was devoured by fear of not knowing what had happened to Hongjoong, since right now that would make him look weak in front of the other and…. that was not how Seonghwa wanted to appear in front of his mate right now. 

He wanted Hongjoong to look at  _ him _ . To have his eyes on him like before, to see the sparkle there, the fire that promised to burn him. He wanted to push Hongjoong’s buttons as well in order to make him feel as urgent as he was to have him. But it felt so impossible that Seonghwa wanted to slam his head against the wall and scream. 

He laughed instead. 

“And I was stressed out that your fucking ass might be harmed, but why coming at me when you have your  _ close  _ friend.” Seonghwa hissed despite his thoughts, the negative emotions in him took control easily and he just kept pressing Hongjoong. “Yeah, it’s sad that Mingi got shot, but Mingi can take it and survive. You just….” He sighed again, angrier. “....you pissed me off.”

Hongjoong’s fingers itched to touch his mate. He clearly remembered what Seonghwa had said hours ago in the main hall… that he’d stepped out of the hideout since he needed to find him. And if that did not clench anyone’s heart in a tight fist, then nothing would touch his cold heart. The admission had even more meaning when he heard it in between Seonghwa’s words right now. The blonde still had the ability to read in between the lines when it came to Seonghwa’s complex way of expressing himself. “You needed to find me?” However that did not mean that Seonghwa had to do it. His mate knew better than to do something so careless when he himself was afraid of himself. “You put yourself and everyone around you in danger.” 

Seonghwa had been reckless. 

While Hongjoong was confused.

“Are you choosing what to talk now?” Seonghwa cut his thoughts with his loud voice and as Hongjoong looked at him, he noticed his clear annoyance. “Fine. Let’s talk about my fucked up decisions. I found it stupid to leave you alone out there and guard a place where nobody will even come for. If someone barged into the hideout, we were still close to go back and I’m sure that the boys there could handle it for some time.” He talked shit, not knowing anything of strategies or fights, but if Hongjoong wanted to hear his point of view, then he was going to serve it on the way that he wanted. “I’m tired of hiding, Hongjoong. I’m sick of standing behind. So next time when someone else decides to violate this town, just don’t go away from me. Don’t leave me behind.”

Hongjoong’s soul was starved for the words that Seonghwa buttered at him. He was weak for the way Seonghwa was looking at him. All demanding and serious. His attractiveness did not only come from his well toned body - which was still a damn distraction at such close proximity - but from the way his mouth twisted to one side when he was talking quickly, in the most provocative way. Also he could not ignore the fire which was coming from the intense stare that Seonghwa was throwing at him. He asked for understanding. 

The blonde one bit his lower lip in attempt to stop himself from saying something which he was going to feel sorry for. 

“I don’t want to leave you behind ever again.” Hongjoong wanted to hit himself for voicing that. It was way better than what was swirling in his head, but also he knew that the bond was doing it - it was making Seonghwa need him, while in the same time Hongjoong seeked exactly that dependence. 

On clear head he could dismiss all those thoughts. How much it actually sucked to know that what they shared was superficial. That there was no real feelings involved. It sucked to be aware of that and yet crumble down each time his mate decided to pull him close or demand attention. Hongjoong was instantly on his knees with no doubt of desire to provide for him. 

But it sucked that Hongjoong needed Seonghwa, as well. Probably a tad too much. 

That’s why he wanted boundaries. 

Hongjoong finally dared to touch Seonghwa. He reached out for the other’s hand and carefully held it. It was not much, yet it was thousands way better than to be inches apart, while in the same time feeling like miles separated them. 

“I don’t like to see you hurt.” He admitted, while his eyes were glaring at the bandaged shoulder of his mate. “Are you alright?”

At this moment, Seonghwa realized that Hongjoong just didn’t want to bring the Jiho guy into their conversations and the jealousy that crushed in his chest made him pull his hand back from Hongjoong’s hold, but even before disappoint could sneak into his pretty eyes, Seonghwa leaned in and just kissed him. An open mouthed kiss that got Hongjoong out of guard for a moment and Seonghwa just gripped the vest that the other wore and pulled his body close enough to share the same heat with him. 

His soul nearly whined when Hongjoong’s lips didn’t move, but he shoved his tongue in the other’s mouth, his two hands moving down to grip his mate’s firm butt. 

Seonghwa parted from the kiss, only to give Hongjoong a breathless answer. 

“It doesn’t hurt.” He said, going back to the kissing, as if that was going to sooth him, his envy, and the fact that he hadn’t been kissing or touching Hongjoong for too long. “But there is something else that bothers me.”

“What’s it?” Hongjoong quietly asked. 

“Do you not find me attractive anymore?” He asked, pulling back once again to study his face. But Seonghwa would probably need decades to understand what was hiding behind the expressions of Hongjoong’s face. And the fact that he really didn’t know his mate and never waited for Hongjoong to explain himself was even more ridiculous. 

Hongjoong realized how serious Seonghwa was when the other remained silent for the next minute, waiting for his answer on the most outrageous question ever.

Many words could be used to describe how Hongjoong saw Seonghwa like, but unattractive was not one of them. The blonde one might have doubts for the honesty of their mutual feelings for one another, but he was not blind. 

He could clearly recall the first time when he met Seonghwa on their engagement party, back when he was not connected to him. There was no bond back then to confuse him. 

Seonghwa had been gorgeous. He remembered the white as snow shirt, sleeves rolled up; the dark pants that complimented his muscled long legs. The way his hair had been pulled up, only to show his expressive face and put it on display for everyone to see his obvious arrogance - that no one had been on his level. 

“Forget it.” The pride of Seonghwa didn’t give Hongjoong time to even reply to what he was asked. 

In the matter of seconds, Seonghwa was away from him, heading to another room. 

“I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.”


	2. Emotions.

**Chapter 2.**

Seonghwa was sitting beside Mingi, looking at his peaceful face. The other’s scratches were still visible on his skin, not healing because of the poisonous bullet. Seonghwa looked at him with wonder, thinking about how he might have looked like if he was the one fighting in that battle, get hurt and wear scars like everyone else in that clan. 

Mingi’s wound would never heal. He would wear that scar, a bullet scar on his chest. Just like Seonghwa’s new addition on the shoulder. He tried not to focus his mind on himself and cared to pay attention on Mingi instead. 

The other looked as if he was very close to waking up from his slumber, his hands were resting beside his body, but his fingers were twitching and Seonghwa could see him frown, eyes moving under his eye lids. Mingi looked like he was having a nightmare. 

But the nightmare was over. The clan outstanded another attack. And by looking at how an alpha like Mingi was responding to that situation made Seonghwa wonder if Hongjoong was having troubles to sleep as well. 

Hongjoong. The mere thought of him was waking up emotions that Seonghwa was trying to keep for himself. 

But damn, he couldn’t sleep through most of the previous night, knowing that his mate was in their room, hugging himself instead of him, sleeping on his side of the bed instead of chasing Seonghwa’s scent and presence. Hongjoong didn’t come to fight him and the hit that Seonghwa’s ego took was nearly unbearable. 

Hongjoong didn’t deny Seonghwa’s words, but he didn’t agree with them either. He didn’t say openly that Seonghwa was not as attractive to him as he used to, but he didn’t prove him in the opposite. He just didn’t care. 

Seonghwa closed his eyes for a moment, seeing Mingi’s mocking gaze when he opened them again. His heart skipped a beat and he straightened up on the chair, watching Mingi cringe in pain as he tried to move. 

“Why are you here of all people?” Mingi asked, curiously studying Seonghwa’s face as the other raised an eyebrow judgingly.

“What, can’t I care about your lame ass?” Seonghwa asked him and Mingi laughed, holding his hand over the bandaged spot on his chest. 

“I expected to see my brother or San, honestly.” Mingi said and the two of them ended up in a short silence after that. 

Seonghwa was considering to update Mingi about the outcome of the attack, but the other seemed a bit thoughtful, chewing on his bottom lip as his eyes wandered on the ceiling in concentration. Damn, Mingi probably didn’t want to hear which ones of his friends got hurt or even worse- lost their lives. Seonghwa had no idea if some of the Kim’s had died, because they were still cleaning the streets from the deceased ones. He couldn’t provide the needed answers to Mingi, but he knew what worried him. 

“They are okay. If you are worried about your family, they are fine too.” Seonghwa said softly, reaching out to rub Mingi’s shoulder. And then he rubbed it reassuringly, noticing how the other alpha’s face twisted in surprise. “You fought good. Some asshole showed up in the last minute and stole the win. He is the hero now.” 

The way that Seonghwa spit his last words intrigued Mingi enough to make him sit up despite his obvious pain and face Seonghwa. 

“Who are you talking about? We had a back up?” Mingi asked in surprise. 

“Jiho. Some one eyed pirate.” Seonghwa didn’t hide his irritation as he rolled the piercing along his bottom lip and scoffed. “Hongjoong’s hero.”

“Jiho is here?” Mingi asked, his eyes going wide. “Holy shit. Of course, that we are gonna win. Damn, you have no idea how good Jiho is at fighting.” He started to give out information that Seonghwa didn’t really need right now. 

He rolled his eyes away from Mingi’s excited face and folded his arms across his chest. So the Jiho fucker had many followers, and he was apparently good at fighting…. 

“Yeah, let’s open a fanclub in his name, shall we?” Seonghwa smiled sarcastically. 

Just then Mingi paid more attention to his responses and probably noticed that Seonghwa wasn’t someone who wanted to listen anything about Jiho’s brave actions. But the way that his eyes studied Seonghwa made the other alpha nervous and he growled lowly. 

“Are you jealous?” Mingi asked, getting another scoff from Seonghwa’s side. “Did Hongjoong tell you anything about Jiho?”

“His  _ close  _ friend?” Seonghwa looked back at Mingi. “Sure not, he made sure to walk around the topic.”

“Well that’s kind of obvious, since Jiho was hitting on him some time ago, he won’t tell you things like that, right? But you know my brother. Fighting and protecting comes first. Joong doesn’t acknowledge feelings outside of that.” Mingi openly stated. He looked so proud of Hongjoong that he just described, that he didn’t notice that his words weren’t making it easy for Seonghwa. 

So Jiho…. the sly bastard, who pulled Hongjoong into his arms right after the battle was over, was someone from his past, who was supposedly a friend, but one who wanted to put his dirty hands on Hongjoong? 

Seonghwa’s level of irritation reached the sky and he stood up from the chair when heat shook his body and he was hardly controlling his emotions. He didn’t want Mingi to say anything else, he didn’t need more information. He didn’t want someone to poke at his open wound and talk about Hongjoong and someone else, when Hongjoong was expressing his clear disinterest in Seonghwa. 

Damn, if feelings could hurt any more than that, Seonghwa didn’t want to feel at all. 

“I was messing with you, dude. Come on.” Mingi tried to soothe Seonghwa, but he already pissed him off, so there was no need for that. 

“Right. Get some rest Mingi. Your relatives are worried.” Seonghwa shut him up with a roll of his eyes and hurried up to leave the healing room that Mingi was resting at, bumping into someone right when he walked out of the building as well. 

The scent was strong, sharp and familiar. It made Seonghwa growl and he looked up to see Jiho’s odd eyes staring at him with something close to expectation. And damn, Seonghwa was this close to push him off of himself and give him a piece of his mind. But the guy spoke first and stole his chance to do that. 

“You seem to be immune to silver.” Jiho said, eyes glued on Seonghwa’s still bandaged shoulder. The way that suspicion was evident in his voice was only triggering Seonghwa’s anger. 

“I don’t owe you any explanations.” Seonghwa couldn’t stop himself from snarling at the other, but Jiho didn’t step back. Instead his posture tensed up and his eyes screwed. 

“You are so confidently trying to confront each member of this clan, Park, but let me tell you how things stand with the Kims. We don’t give a fuck about hierarchy. You can stick that in your closet and lock it up, because you need to earn your spot here.” Jiho’s voice was low, but Seonghwa could hear the other’s hatred directed to himself so well that it made him frown. That was so far the first Kim member who directly expressed negative emotions towards Seonghwa. “Just because you gave Hongjoong what he wanted - gave him a rank, doesn’t mean that this rank means the same for us. Here. Here it means nothing.”

Seonghwa’s growl was warning, his whole body tensed up in front of the other alpha and he had no idea what power still kept him rooted to the ground where he stood, but he wasn’t going to let some _war hero_ come across him and talk shit about him.

But the Park in him knew exactly how to respond. The Park in him was well build with years of pretendence. Seonghwa knew his spot here perfectly well. He didn’t need any asshole to boss him around. And his pride… his pride as an alpha, as Hongjoong’s mate… he just couldn’t accept these degrading words. 

“Are you pissed that I didn’t keep Hoseok’s orders?” Seonghwa hissed at Jiho and the other just smirked. 

“Breaking orders is what bring chaos. You are just arrogant. We don’t need such men here. We need strict men who know how to lead. Next time when something happens... Better stay where you are supposed to stay. No matter where your mate is or how bad his condition is.” Jiho replied, taking a step further to the house, bumping his shoulder in Seonghwa as he passed him by. “The clan comes first.”

“For me…” Seonghwa wasn’t going to let him have the last word. He eyed Jiho with the corner of his eyes and his lips pulled into a side smirk. “Hongjoong comes first. I am here because of him.”

He left, letting Jiho think whatever the fuck he wanted to. 

But the outcome of that conversation only forced Seonghwa to pull his shirt over his head and transform, ripping the rest of his clothes as he jumped into the street in his wolf form and ran away. 

_ ************** _

Hongjoong was irritated at his keeper. San was driving him crazy. He was suffocating him nowadays. Ever since the incident where Jia had poisoned him, San was like glued to Hongjoong like a chewing gum that got tangled in his hair. Someone might think that this was not that bad, but Hongjoong would strongly disagree. 

“You fought with Seonghwa or what?” Hongjoong cringed by the animated voice of the beta. 

As if it was not enough that he had to spent a sleepless night on their shared bed - a faint reminder of ocean’s breeze remaining on the sheets to mock at Hongjoong - but San had invited himself so early in the morning that the alpha had no other choice but to entertain him. 

“And you’re not with my brother because?” Hongjoong directly asked the other. He actually needed time alone to gather his thoughts. Seonghwa had probably shared his need, because he had left their home long before even San barged in. 

_ “Do you not find me attractive anymore?” _

That question was on repeat in Hongjoong’s head. The way Seonghwa had looked at him - expectantly, but in the same time making the efforts, stepping over his own ego, so he could reassure himself …. yet Hongjoong had not uttered even a word. 

How stupid of him. 

“Mingi doesn’t need me.” San blurted, while sipping from his 3rd cup of coffee. Had he become an addict while Hongjoong’s been too preoccupied with his own thoughts for the past months or what? 

“ _ Please _ . He doesn’t even take a step without checking with you.” Hongjoongs’ irritation was starting to mould into something else, but he could not put his finger on it. It was more like an ugly, itching sensation that was edging him with each passing hour. 

And it was noon already. 

“Mingi won’t be doing any moving any time soon, so I’d better be with you.” Even though the keeper’s words were said steadily Hongjoong guessed what was hidden behind them. The image of San’s wolf, protecting his fallen on the ground brother was still too clear, too fresh. 

“Do I need to throw you out of my house?” Hongjoong lowered his voice. 

San did not deserve such treatment. And the raised left brow of the other only proved Hongjoong’s thought and it innerved him. But he couldn’t stand in one place. He needed to move and somehow San’s presence only felt too much in the house. As if he was depriving the alpha from something, messing into his personal space. 

“Who do you think you’re talking to exactly?” San squeezed his eyes, and the animated note was erased from his voice. The keeper pushed back his cup, the action made it turn over and spill its content over the table. “What’s the matter with you? We’re attacked - yes, but we handled it. Mingi will be alright and back on his legs pretty soon. Jiho is back - which is great because now you won’t dare to be as releckless.” 

“I’m not reckless.” Hongjoong shot back, a dangerous glint playing in his eyes. The alpha felt challenged by the keeper. It was not like Hongjoong had opened his mouth on the matter for the time when he was poisoned, he never uttered a word about how low he’d gotten in the absence of San to keep him level-headed. 

He’d never say it out loud and confess it. Never. 

“And going out without your mate was a good idea then?” The beta was not stepping back, though. He’d had his even share of verbal fights with the teenage version of the alpha and if he’d survived those years without visible scars, then he was more than capable with getting into Hongjoong’s head and beating some sense into it. 

“Those were my father’s orders.” Hongjoong hissed back. “He’s the head of the clan or you’ve forgotten that?” 

“Yeah… but you could have stepped in for Seonghwa. You should have done it.” San pressed further. “Instead, you looked aside and left him with the kids…”

“He was part from the last line of defence.” Hongjoong wanted to rip his own clothes at this point… since Seonghwa’s words from the previous night still stung. He also had acknowledged that he needed him beside him… but somehow now that San was saying it, the alpha realized how stupid he’d acted. 

He had degraded his mate. 

He had left him to hide and not join him. 

But nobody beside him knew what such a fight could provoke in Seonghwa. What memories could be awoken, what pain could be brought to Seonghwa - so Hongjoong did what he had - he left him behind. 

He had hidden him. 

“My ass if he was. You just didn’t want him there. As you did not want me there when you were sick.” San stated as matter of factly. The glove was thrown and Hongjoong did not know how to react to that at first. But soon he collected himself as he raised from his chair and moved straight for the door. Only to open it and stare at San expectantly. 

“Leave.” 

“You have to start talking soon, Joong. I’m patient but I see how different you are. And judging by the look  _ your mate _ had when he left the house in the early hours of the morning … I assume I’m not the only one who sees it.” 

Hongjoong did not even have the chance to say something, because the keeper moved. 

“I don’t know what’s going on in your head anymore.” The confession looked painful and it stung Hongjoong immediately. “Fix the issues in your mind, so you can talk to your mate again … because he came here with and for you. Seonghwa is making an effort, while you hide and don’t see that.” 

With those words San left Hongjoong finally alone.

The anxiety which followed, made the alpha seek the remains of ocean's breeze … and since the source was nowhere to be found - Hongjoong went back to bed. 

Hours passed. Hours, during which Hongjoong could not find peace. His head was full of images of before and how easy it had been to just allow himself to move with the flow of emotions which directed him to Seonghwa. How easy he’d allowed the bond to grow. He mockingly remembered how he was the one who had pointed out to Seonghwa how useless it was to fight and that in due time, the other alpha was not going to be able to even think for anyone else beside his own mate, even about his ex-boyfriend. He had been the one who insisted that there was no point in struggling with accepting the facts. 

Now here he was - lying in their bed, head full with doubts. 

San’s words were direct and on point - Hongjoong had hidden Seonghwa, because he couldn’t let him fight, because he cared for him. Which came with the bond. 

If he was the one who he had been before bonding with the Park, then he would never let a strong and capable alpha of staying behind, because during each fight their clan needed everyone who could fight. 

Now, it was different. Hongjoong chose to think about Seonghwa and how getting himself involved into the fight would reflect onto him. He still remembered Eden’s words of his previous breakdown. Which of course, was exactly the reason why the Parks let Seonghwa mate with one of the Kims. 

But thinking about all of that was pointless. Hongjoong knew it. 

He had to accept that Seonghwa was here and there was no reason to avoid him. 

The itching inside of him was still a reminder how restless he was. 

Seonghwa had spent the whole day away… not getting back and Hongjoong actually wondered what he was up to. He didn’t even know what Seonghwa was doing, whether he was with Yunho or Eden… training or something else.

At some point, Hongjoong was bored out of his mind and he left the bed, only to relocate himself in the kitchen. With shaking hands he started preparing light dinner. Was it a strategy of his to bury the tomahawk - yes, it was. He wanted to spend a quiet night and talk with his mate. 

Two plates of scrambled eggs, accompanied with fresh salad and bacon were placed on the table. Then the blonde went for a shower, as he decided that wearing his pajamas for the whole day wasn’t the best outfit with which he had to welcome Seonghwa home. 

Twenty minutes later Hongjoong was refreshed, dressed and waiting on the kitchen counter with a glass of wine in front of him, when Seonghwa marched into the house stark naked. 

“Where were you?” _Oh the irony of the situation_. Hongjoong felt like he was acting like one of the characters from Desperate Housewives and not like the alpha that he was. 

Seonghwa froze on his spot, his eyes peeking into the kitchen distractedly as he acknowledged Hongjoong’s presence a moment after and frowned. 

“Out. I’m going to dress up.” He said, averting his eyes from Hongjoong and just headed towards their room.

Seonghwa ignored Hongjoong and probably he had his reasons, but for Hongjoong it was not easy to pretend that he didn’t see it. That was the first time that Seonghwa acted that way and Hongjoong did not know how to handle it, hence the dinner and all. 

When the other alpha was fully dressed, he entered the kitchen and kept acting as if Hongjoong wasn’t even there, noticing the food. Seonghwa’s nose scented the plate from distance and he grimaced, not giving out if he liked what Hongjoong had prepared for them or not and just walked towards the counter where Hongjoong was sitting. He went to wash his hands instead of approaching Hongjoong directly. 

“I really wanna keep my comments for myself, but you are provoking me to talk shit.” Seonghwa said without looking at him, angrily washing his hands dozen times just to waste time. “So is this your way to apologize for treating me like shit or it’s just a random desire of yours so you won’t eat alone? Plus, you clearly waited for me, which triggers more questions. Which I will really keep for myself.”

Hongjoong tried to squish any desire to spat back at Seonghwa. He jumped from the kitchen counter and took a few steps away from Seonghwa since his scent was a little too much for him to take for some reason. “I don’t want to fight tonight, alright?” He fisted his hands in attempt to hide the shaking, “I made dinner for you. If you don’t like it - just say so.” 

“You don’t wanna fight. Hm.” Seonghwa clearly mocked him, throwing Hongjoong a smirk. Once that he looked at his mate, he instantly noticed several things. _First_ \- Hongjoong was having that killer stare in his eyes, something wild sparking in dangerously and Seonghwa really didn’t have to push his buttons if he wanted to keep him calm - which he didn’t. _Second_ \- Hongjoong’s scent was finally reaching his senses and Seonghwa blamed the fact that he ran for too long and he exhausted himself to the point that he felt a little numb. That or he just wanted to ignore Hongjoong’s whole being. 

And _third_ \- Hongjoong really looked upset about him, neglecting the fact that he cooked. How odd. 

“Can I taste it and express my feelings after?” He kept annoying Hongjoong, wearing the same mocking smirk as he sat down on the table and looked down at the plates. Then he laughed. “Forks. You forgot to put forks.”

Hongjoong looked at him as if he was ready to punch him. He stormed and with a loud bang, he opened the cabinet where the utensils were placed. Not that they needed them before, since so far they’ve saved themselves from starvation with his mother’s dishes. That was the first evening that they stayed at their house, Hongjoong made the effort for it to be homemade and not bought from a restaurant, since … yeah, he wanted it to look like he cared. And what did he get from the other? Mocking for forgetting to place the forks. Hongjoong knew how much of a difference the current setting was from the one that Seonghwa was used. In the Parks’ mansion neither of them had to lift their fingers for anything, while here in the Kims’ territory if you wanted something - you had to do it yourself. 

“Here.” He handed Seonghwa a fork and knife, since he had no doubt that if he missed it - Seonghwa was going to make a remark that he had nothing with which he could cut the bacon. “Do you need something else?” 

Damn, Seonghwa was still trying to figure out why Hongjoong was appearing to be this frustrated when he had no reason to. Whatever happened to him during the day was probably nowhere near close to Seonghwa’s fucked up morning, so he decided to ignore Hongjoong’s anger on purpose. 

Just to piss him off some more. 

He picked the fork and pushed the knife, looking up at his mate to give him another mocking smile. “I can _fit a lot_ in my mouth. No need to be this prepared.” Seonghwa said, stuffing his mouth with bacon and eggs, waiting to see the other’s response.

“Is that so? I thought you forgot how to _do it_.” Hongjoong fired back while reaching for his glass of wine. He cheered his mate and smiled at him. Even if Seonghwa made everything to anger Hongjoong, the blond one was not going to back down. 

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow, gulping down the food before looking at Hongjoong again. “I’ve done it more times than you can imagine.” He replied, making a note that whenever their eyes met, he could notice something in Hongjoong that was affecting him in some twisted way. The way that the other was visibly tensing was making Seonghwa tense too, but he already made a decision for himself. If Hongjoong wasn’t going to prove him wrong about his own conclusions, then Seonghwa didn’t have to do anything to pay him any intimate attention. “Sit down, you are making me nervous. Also eat, this whole thing is pointless otherwise.”

Whatever Hongjoong thought he’d achieve with this dinner, it was clear it was pointless. He was irritated at himself for it, as well. He didn’t know how to approach Seonghwa and hated it that the other was not initiating anything. It was ridiculous how easy it was just two months ago, nothing was forced and just normal. Now, every move of Seonghwa was if meant to mean something, but Hongjoong could not understand it. 

Yet, Hongjoong did as he was told. His desire to impress Seonghwa was complete failure and he realized it when he stared at the scrambled eggs. His feelings were exact reflection of what was placed in the plate in front of him - scrambled and incomprehensible. 

“I find you attractive, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” The words were out before Hongjoong could stop himself. 

And that question once again pulled the trigger. Seonghwa dropped the fork down dramatically loud and faced Hongjoong again, sucking in a breath. No, he wasn’t going to keep his comment back anymore. 

“You know how you sound, right?” He asked, leaning back the chair as his mind quickly went blank and he stopped caring of Hongjoong’s current unstable state. “What you just said sounds like this - _ ‘Oh, this fucker won’t shut up about it, why not telling him whatever the fuck he wants to hear? _ ’ Let me tell you.” Seonghwa paused, but his anger was quickly building up. “I was kissing you and you stood like… just stop. This dinner? This doesn’t change the way I feel and you don’t seem to be willing to prove me wrong. So fuck off, get angry all you want.” He kicked the table and stood up, planning to spend another night on the couch. 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Hongjoong was quickly up and stop Seonghwa from leaving by pulling him for his forearm. “What do you want me to prove? Just say it. I’ll do it.” Hongjoong really meant what he said, he was obviously the one who screwed the things up between them, and somewhere along the way … he just lost the connection which he thought he had with the other. 

Seonghwa sucked in another breath and let his eyes trail all over Hongjoong’s pretty face for a moment. He hated the fact that he was stolen something that he just started to feel attached to. Small things like how Hongjoong wouldn’t need him to approach him, so he could get a kiss, or big things like how the other was telling him those three words and then he suddenly stopped as if something bad crushed into him and changed him. 

Seonghwa blamed Jia for that, the whole poisoning really put tension between them and on top of that the Kim’s decided that Hongjoong and Seonghwa could live entirely alone, after such a short time of being mated. 

All of that put a barrier between them instead of to pull them together and Seonghwa wanted to yell all of that in his mate’s face, but he was sure that Hongjoong was feeling the same way. 

“I miss you.” He said, his hand coming on top of Hongjoong’s one, gripping it lightly. “And the way you act around me is freaking me out. There are hundred other things that make me angry, but they are not that important now.”

What Seonghwa told him just affirmed what Hongjoong was worried about. His own doubts were what caused all these insecurities in both of them. 

“I .. “ the blonde one started. “...just don’t want to lose you.” 

“It’s irony that you can’t really lose me.” Seonghwa replied bitterly, his eyes landing on the mark on the side of Hongjoong’s neck. Staring at it just reminded him that it’s been a long time since he refreshed the mark, given it attention or express any kind of emotions towards Hongjoong. It's been two long months and Seonghwa was sure that what he wanted to say was only going to make Hongjoong think of him as an asshole, but if that was what he had to do in order to wake up some feeling in Hongjoong, then he was willing to do it. 

He knew how to. 

“It’s obvious that we grew distant.” He said, taking Hongjoong’s hand away from his own and just let it fall. He noticed something in his mate’s beautiful eyes that made him tense again. If Hongjoong could even look at himself through Seonghwa’s eyes, he would understand how hard it was for Seonghwa to stay away from him. 

He bit his lip and his look stopped on the other’s full lips. 

“I’m sure that you remember the _rules_.” Seonghwa said, hoping that his next words would finally start the fire that he missed. “Don’t make me go there.”

Just by the reminder of what they’d agreed on at their second night as mates, made Hongjoong’s blood boil. Without really putting much thought into his actions, he punched Seonghwa right across the face.

“Just try.” Hongjoong hissed. “This is bulshit. You say you want me and care for me and that’s how you’ll act afterwards?” He raised his voice and shook his head unbelievingly. “I may have my own doubts but you don’t see me running to my ex, right?” Everything that Hongjoong wanted to achieve this night went down the hill. He wanted to make the dinner special - he failed. He wanted Seonghwa to tell him what to do - he ignored him. Hongjoong was lost and the other instead of showing him how to get back on his legs - was ready to shrug him aside and seek what he needed somewhere else. And yes, Seonghwa was right, the irony in that was hilarious. 

Seonghwa growled, all of his restrictions flying out of the window right after Hongjoong punched him and spoke about Jiho in a way that he didn’t expect. First Mingi implied that something had happened between Hongjoong and Jiho and now he had to confirm to Seonghwa that they had _dated?_

He picked and flipped Hongjoong onto the counter with animalistic speed, straddling him with his body as he gripped the other’s blonde hair, turning his head to the side so he could bare his neck. Seonghwa’s eyes were seeing red as he stared at his mark, hating how fade and old it looked right now. The part of him that was burning with anger all day took control and he leaned in, biting his mate in the most brutal way, as if Hongjoong would slip away or hit him to get his way out of his hands. 

When the other didn’t move, Seonghwa’s insides clenched, the anger just increased some more and he was ready to do whatever in order to make Hongjoong react. When he felt the other’s blood in his mouth he stopped abusing his neck, moving his lips aside to his shoulder, his right hand ripping off whatever shirt Hongjoong had dressed on as he pulled, baring more skin for himself. 

“I’m gonna kill your ex, do you hear me?” Seonghwa spoke, deaf to himself but probably clear for the other. 

Hongjoong’s neck was in pain, but his soul - gleamed. Just the night before he accused Seonghwa of being possessive, but now that he needed some kind of reassurance from the other, he not only welcomed it, but even cheered for it. 

The blond’s legs circled around Seonghwa’s waist and locked behind him. He held the other, in obvious way to show him that he wanted him in place and not running away. 

“And I’ll do the same if you follow your damn _rules_.” Hongjoong calmed down a little and that was only due to the effect his mate had over him whenever he was close… or it was because he marked him once again? Which only pushed Hongjoong to do the same. 

Hongjoong’s eyes were locked with Seonghwa’s beautiful ones when he gently took a hold of Seongwha’s neck and put a slight pressure on it, so Seonghwa could willingly tilt it aside. Then Hongjoong leaned in and reclaimed what was his and didn’t want to let go. While his canines were ripping through his mate’s skin, Hongjoong pushed each damn worry on the back of his mind and just revelished into the sensation that vibrated and pulsed through him. 

“Sleep with me.” He mumbled into Seonghwa’s ear and place a small kiss on the back of it. 

“ _No_.” Seonghwa replied seriously. His hands caressed Hongjoong’s thighs and he felt it hard to pull back, but his stubborn part wasn’t satisfied with what his mate was giving him. He knew exactly how much Hongjoong could give him and he wanted to have him in the same fucked up way as months ago - all whipped, angry, possessive over everyone, gentle, wild. Until he managed to wake up all of these emotions, Seonghwa promised to give Hongjoong shit in order for both of them to go back in line. 

“I wanna think.” He said, pulling back to look at the other. He stared at Hongjoong as if he begged him to kiss him. One, two seconds. Seonghwa did it by himself in the end, stealing a slow kiss from the other’s bloody lips. “I liked your food.” Seonghwa said as well, stealing another kiss. “And your outfit. I just wanted to piss you off.”

“Mission accomplished then.” Hongjoong felt the rejection from the other, however, with his actions and words Seonghwa almost instantly dumbed the sensation. “Can you _think_ in our bed? I will not try anything….” Before Seonghwa even had the chance to pull back, completely dismissing him, Hongjoong hurried to add what has been troubling him for the whole day. “I really... can’t sleep without you… it’s just… please?” The blonde lowered his eyes and just waited for the other’s words. 

Seonghwa sighed. There was definitely something weird about Hongjoong today, but he had no freaking idea what was happening in his mate’s head. Hongjoong went from furious into a small pup, who just wanted to be hugged at night and no matter how tough Seonghwa wanted to appear, he couldn’t resist that plead. 

“Okay.” He said and pushed Hongjoong back gently, giving his forehead a kiss before he sneaked out of his hold. He sighed again, dramatically. “Clean the dishes first, otherwise your effort to look like a good mate are going to hell.” And he left the kitchen before Hongjoong could even process his bullshit.

Hongjoong didn’t even had the will to feel offended by the joke which Seonghwa threw at him. He perfectly knew how comical of an attempt it was for him to act this way, it was so much out of character of him. 

Yet, he moved from the counter and started placing the dirty dishes into the sink. What San had told him made an impact, because he was correct, as usual. 

Seonghwa had been making efforts for all that time, while Hongjoong was hiding. Hence his cooking and all. He could not face every obstacles that they had, but at least there was progress and that was a step away from the hole that he’d been falling just hours ago. 

  
  


_ ************* _

The next couple of days were a bit hectic for everyone - Hongjoong included. He’d been running around the borders of their lands, so he’d make sure that everyone was doing job right and no second wave of attack was going to follow. His people were on edge, but he was no different especially since Seonghwa was sent away to his family. 

Hongjoong was definitely not sulking over that. 

Not when he had a fresh reminder of their last night together before his father had summoned Seonghwa and required from him to go back to the mansion and discuss the attack situation with his family. After all such a bold attack at the Kims, was also directed to the Parks now and they had to be kept up to date with the news. 

And what better messinger by the Park heir. 

Three days passed, during which Hongjoong had occupied himself with physical activities in order to keep himself busy. He didn’t want to dwell too much into his head. On top of that San had been also giving him the cold shoulder after their _‘conversation_ ’ and the alpha just didn’t want to think about anyone and anything anymore. 

He was currently on his way back from his parent’s place when his path was obstructed with a person who he’d been kind of avoiding. _Jiho_. He stared at the older male who was slightly smirking at him. The scar on his left eye, which made it white and repulsing, only reminded Hongjoong how the other had received it in the first place. 

“How are you?” Hongjoong asked as his eyes continued scanning Jiho’s face. 

“Fine, I was fine before you actually asked me that question.” Jiho was currently repairing some old car as he looked all over Hongjoong, keeping the mocking smirk on his lips the whole time. “Drop the formalities, Joong, I don’t wanna be in that relationship with you.”

Hongjoong pressed his lips in a tight line. It was awkward, alright? Everyone around knew bits and pieces of what Hongjoong and Jiho had shared. It was love-hate relationship back then, challenging one another all the time and for everything. The older male just had this special trait in him, provoking the younger alpha and in the same time leading Hongjoong over the nose to whatever outcome he wanted. Hongjoong thought highly of the other and in some way he wanted his approval. 

Who wouldn’t want approval from the one that stood in front of sharp claws, in order for you to be safe? 

Jiho received the scar instead of Hongjoong. 

“For how long are you going to stay?” Hongjoong asked then. 

“Until we make sure that such thing won’t happen again.” Zico said, eyes going back on the engine of the old car. He wore a torn shirt and some old looking pants, totally fitting the looks of a skilled mechanic. “Which is why your  _ mate _ went back to his mama. To provide some back up for the weak spots. They have the money and power to do it. Nobody fucks with the Parks.” The sarcasm was clear in his voice. “You are a lucky one to be paired up with a Park. I personally bumped into him. Seonghwa. Pretty face and awful attitude.”

“Yes, that’s him.” Hongjoong’s insides twisted because of the way Jiho talked about his mate. He didn’t like his words, his sarcasm, the way he described Seonghwa, as if he was only a pretty face with an awful attitude. Yes, it was true he was not the best when it came to his behavior, but Hongjoong could not just let anyone speak like that behind the other’s back. Not even Jiho. “You’d better play nice, Jiho.” He would lie if he had to say that his heart did not skip a beat when the other squeezed his eyes at him, clearly measuring the level of seriousness coming off the younger one. It was not only that but the way Hongjoong stared back at him, not blinking. 

“Come on, you know me.” The other said, brushing one of his dirty hands against his cheek, leaving a black finger print. “I say what’s on my mind. He… he does the same. Give me time to actually suck it up. The fact that you picked someone and you are probably trying your best to be a good mate. I don’t wanna make problems, Joong, but I missed you. Really.”

“You’re the one who left in the first place.” Hongjoong could not stop himself from cringing at his own words.

Jiho was his past, while right now Seonghwa was his present, so he had to let what he’d had with Jiho slip through his fingers. Decisions were made long ago and it was not like they could do anything to change that. “I’ll see you around.” 

Without waiting for any response from the older one, Hongjoong just continued on his way. He was having enough on his mind, so he definitely did not need Jiho twisting his way around in his head once again. What was done was done and Hongjoong was okay with it. 

He wondered how long his mate was going to stall and stay with his relatives. Maybe he should have gone with him, as he’d insisted when his father required of him to go back to the mansion and negotiated reinforcement for them. However one look from Seongwha had been enough for Hongjoong to know not to mess further. 

Seonghwa still had to _think_ over whatever was on his mind, as he’d said himself. 

He was starting to feel the effects of being away from the other and they were not nice. There was no longer pain, but knowing that Seonghwa was absent brought to him not only worry, but some disgusting nausea that could not be erased with anything.

Hongjoong was finally getting closer to their house, in the farthest and secluded area of their habitat, when his brother’s loud laughter reached his ears.

Mingi was finally moving around freely. He was getting better, but even though the bullet wounds were not fully healed that did not stop Mingi from accompanying San on scouting together. Usually Hongjoong didn’t mind but since his own keeper was obviously putting boundaries between them …. Hongjoong could not be okay with that.

The alpha walked quickly towards San and Yunho's shared house and found Mingi, Yeosang and San on the porch. They were having beers in their hands, discussing something when Hongjoong joined them and sat down next to his brother on the stairs. 

“Oh, I was just about to search for you.” Mingi said, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong’s shoulders and pulled him so harsh that the other crushed into his embrace. “You have no idea how boring that day was. We literally stared at bushes and mountains and had no lunch, thanks to San. He starved me.”

“Quit complaining, you are so annoying.” Yeosang rolled his eyes and sip from his beer, his eyes moving on Hongjoong curiously. “Are you stressed out, Joong?”

“No.” Hongjoong fired right away, while pulling away from his brother’s grip. 

“Right.” San sarcastically commented while sipping from his drink. 

“You have something to say?” Hongjoong felt how his irritation at the world increased ten folds when San looked at him as if he was seeing right through him. 

“Come on.” Mingi mumbled, leaning his head against Hongjoong’s shoulder to search his closeness. Which was something that Mingi was rarely expressing. And right before Hongjoong and San could get into another fight, he surprised everyone with his next words. “Dad asked for me right after we came back from the scouting. He actually told me to freaking _look around,_ I’m using his words, _and find myself someone_.”

“Like a boyfriend.” Yeosang added, wiggling his eyebrows. “Or mate? You are getting old, come on, even I got myself one.”

Mingi shot him a glare and ignored his words, continuing his story. “Dad said that I can pick anyone and I felt… kind of bad. Since you know, Joong, you didn’t have the chance to pick for yourself. Not that it’s a bad thing but I’m just thinking.”

Hongjoong was startled at his brother’s words. Of course, most of the people believed it was more justly for a wolf to pick his mate on his own. However, Hongjoong disagreed with that. His choice proved his point. He had no prior connection with Seonghwa, yet for days it grew and magnified. Even though, he had his own concerns about it, he could not deny the bond. 

It was there and it was itching for Seonghwa to come back and ease the tension that had gathered in the pit of his stomach up. 

“Don’t feel bad about having choice, Mingi.” He patted the other’s thigh. “But you’d better be ready for the shit that comes with it.” He laughed at his own choice of words. 

“Well, I might have a choice, but I actually don’t. Like…. I have never thought about anyone that catches my eye.” Mingi replied, releasing a dramatic sigh. “I don’t even remember when was the last time that I actually felt attracted to someone.”

“Poor thing.” Yeosang pouted from the side, taking the spot next to Hongjoong, as if sensing that something was off with him and just gave him comfort as he brushed the messy blonde hair of the alpha, wearing a smile on his face. 

Hongjoong let Yeosang to caress him gently, while his eyes found the quiet form of his keeper. San was looking aside, completely ignoring the current topic, which was not usual for him. He was always on-standby, gathering information, collecting it even for the times when it might come in handy. It was just how he was. And now he was just off. 

“Well… it be best to think it through.” Hongjoong wisely advised. There was no real rush for Mingi to mate. His clan already had him and Seonghwa as their presenting mated couple at the arena. They’d fought and won. No loses. So for his father to push Mingi into something that the younger was clearly not ready to do… it was strange. “Won’t you say something?” He openly asked San since usually he’d be the one to give the wise advices. After all that was his job. 

“I’m your keeper, not his. Mingi has to handle it himself.” San replied but still refused to look at the little hugging group, squished on the stairs. 

“It doesn’t mean that you have to ignore me.” Mingi said, frowning for the first time as if he just waited for someone to get with him into that conversation so he could openly say something. “You ignored me for the whole day whenever I tried talking to you.”

“Because you are annoying, like I said.” Yeosang mumbled, his eyes not even moving from Hongjoong. He elbowed the alpha, trying to change the subject like he was fed up with San and Mingi’s bickering. “Seriously, Joong, you make me feel nervous. I feel like you are close to burst and….” He raised an eyebrow at his friend. “... you are quiet as well.”

At that San finally honoured Hongjoong with looking at him. 

“Not you as well. What’s wrong with all of  _ you  _ recently?” Hongjoong accused everyone as he pushed Yeosang’s hand away from his hair. “There’s nothing wrong with me.” He insisted. 

Yeosang sighed dramatically and pouted aside at the alpha. “I wasn’t going to bluntly say it, but since you don’t wanna admit it yourself…” he said in a matter of fact, noticing that both Mingi and San looked at him curiously. “.... you wanna fuck and you need it badly. To the point that even I can sniff it on you. Where was your mate again?”

“Oh for fucks sake.” Mingi pushed himself away from Hongjoong as if Yeosang’s words reached his mind first and he didn’t want to be that close to his brother again. “Can I not listen about my brother’s needs please?”

“Just because you have a problem, doesn’t mean that Hongjoong has to stay back from what he can have.” Yeosang was bold as ever, giving Hongjoong a reassuring smile. “It’s probably your mating period. Like you know…”

“He’s getting into rut.” San stated and a smile broke. “Well deserved.” 

Hongjoong was embarrassed. “You know what... go and fuck yourselves.” With that he stormed off, choosing not to even acknowledge the laughter that followed him. He slammed the front door with such strength that the hinges rang. There was no reason for him to be quiet since there was no one at home whom he could bother.

He wanted to punch something or even better - someone.

Seonghwa would be his first choice. Because he was not here. 

Seonghwa would be his second choice. Because he had left in the first place.

Seonghwa would be his each choice … because he was his mate. 

And Hongjoong needed him. 

The mark on the side of his neck started burning, the itching was back with such force that he wanted to scratch it away. Hongjoong’s legs were shaking from the intensity of this feeling and need that he had but knew it would not be soothed. 

His phone started ringing. With trembling hands he took the device out from the pocket of his jeans. The greatest shock of his life. Seonghwa was _calling_. 

“Seonghwa... are you coming back?” Hongjoong asked straightforward immediately as he answered the call. 

_ “I just stopped on the road back…”  _ The other replied, sounding troubled.  _ “But are you okay? It’s the first time in a long time that I felt weird. I don’t wanna crush my bike somewhere.” _

“I can come to you.” Hongjoong offered right away. Just by hearing his mate’s voice he felt a little better, the pulsing itching was less painful, but he dreaded the moment when Seonghwa was going to hung up. In moments like this one… Hongjoong knew how stupid he’d been to be pushing back Seonghwa for something he had no control over. Who the fuck cared whether Seonghwa liked Hongjoong for Hongjoong and not because the bond made him to feel for him? “Tell me and I’ll come.” 

_ “Huh?” _ Seonghwa scoffed. “ _ Listen, I have like half an hour drive, just stay there and wait for me okay? This is so weird..” _ He sounded like he was talking to himself, but Hongjoong could hear him starting the engine of the bike. “ _ I’m coming.” _

“Okay.” Hongjoong did not feel rejected by Seonghwa, on the contrary, he was hopeful. 

Hongjoong hanged up and just waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo you guys are so excited over the second part that it makes us freak out (in a great way xD).   
> Here is another update with more of Joong's intense feelings and needs and its crazy right? xD  
> We hopeeee that you wiiiiiiilll keep giving us comments! Because that really motivate us to keep writing the fic with joy!   
> Not that we don't, but you know what I mean xD  
> Have a nice day and have fun okay! <3 Thank you thank you.


	3. Feel.

**Chapter 3.**

“See you tomorrow.” The smile that Hoseok wore on his lips was fond. 

Seonghwa nodded, feeling how something was badly curled up in his stomach and he knew that he wasn’t hiding the discomfort well, but at least Eden and Yunho came in time to fill in his story when he wasn’t feeling in the mood to explain himself. 

The days that he had spent back in his mansion were bad. There was a grand welcoming of course, Dara waiting on their wide yard, Taecyeon beside her. Members of the clan showed up to greet Seonghwa, but he wasn’t having a smile on his own face when he was back to his family after two months. 

It was devastatingly fake. Everything around him was like covered by a thick layer of lies and whenever he moved, he could feel that atmosphere chasing after him. 

They stopped being so fake right after he told Dara about what had happened to the Kims’ territory and the attack. Just then Dara started showing a real concern, or at least something close to it. 

She looked angry. Her beautiful eyes were screwed, observing Seonghwa for wounds. He was wearing his riding leather gear, so she couldn’t really see his wounded shoulder, but he wasn’t there to snuggle to his mother’s embrace. He was there to give her report and ask for help. 

Dara had finally noticed a side of Seonghwa that she was previously ignoring. That part of him that wanted to protect his mate and his clan in the name of everything. Seonghwa was ready to stand in front of anyone, he was ready to give his own point of view and ask them to do what they agreed on. Protection and back up. 

Seonghwa’s mother was willingly nodding her head, in the end they came up to a proper agreement and Seonghwa had no idea what had started to bother him, but he couldn’t eat, sit down calmly or just talk to people. He was like on the edge to burst and he knew the reason why. 

Hongjoong and their bond. 

That was what made his blood boil and distracted his mind so bad that he had felt as if his head was going to burst. 

He had to go back to his mate. 

With that on mind, he didn’t even agree to see Chan, rejected the offer that Dara gave him and just went back to his bike, told Yunho and Eden to take their time if they wanted to stay, and left. 

Hours later, Seonghwa had to give another report, this time to Hongjoong’s father. 

And after the brief explanation, Seonghwa was very close to start yelling around to people to give him a fucking break. 

But it was all over. The moment when Hoseok bid him goodbye, Seonghwa glanced at Eden and retreated. 

He actually ran towards his new home, feeling how he was going to die in all the leather that he wore. But the house was far enough to take his breath away, so as he finally reached it and got in, Seonghwa was already sweaty, his hair stuck to the sides of his face, his hands moving the zipper of his top down and he pulled the top off, giving himself a moment to catch his breath. 

Well, Hongjoong didn’t give him much time, because he was in front of him within seconds, throwing himself into Seonghwa’s arms. 

Hongjoong wrapped himself possessively around Seonghwa and sniffed at his unique scent. “Don’t leave again... I can’t stand it… it was too much, Seonghwa.” The words were spilling out of the other as if they were carefully hidden before and only now he dared to voice them out. Hongjoong snuggled his head into Seonghwa’s neck and just carrassed the mark which he had left over the other’s body, as a reminder whom he belonged to, for everyone to see. To know not to get close. Not to touch. 

“Are you getting crazy or something?” It was weird to have such clingy Hongjoong. The part of Seonghwa that burned to have that closeness and hear the other say things like that was throwing a party, but his stubbornness was what made him question Hongjoong’s actions. 

And yet, once that he leaned close in the same way, Hongjoong’s strong scent hit him so hard that his breath hitched. Seonghwa wrapped one arm around the other’s waist, feeling how every hair on his body stood dangerously. 

And then he changed their positions, quickly turning Hongjoong and pressing him against the door, staring at his face with nothing but possession. 

“Do you want me now?” He asked, leaning just close enough to feel the other’s breath against his face and when the warmness of Hongjoong’s lips touched his own, Seonghwa nearly lost his mind.

“I want you to listen carefully and not open your mouth. Wanting you was never the problem, Seonghwa.” Hongjoong worded breathily. His eyes were locked onto Seonghwa’s ones and the taller one nearly had the time to acknowledge how unfocused they were, when Hongjoong continued spilling his ‘ _secrets_ ’. “But you wanting me is… you wanting me only because I’m your mate and not…” Hongjoong obviously had gathered enough courage to voice out his inner thoughts and was not going to back down. It was not in his nature. He was going for the best result out of this whole situation. There was no other choice now… after everything. He just had to open up and admit it. “I want you since the moment I saw you …. provoking me with that pompous look of yours. You looked as if you believed you were more than me. And I wanted to prove you …. I proved you we’re equal.” Hongjoong crushed their lips in a bruising kiss. 

It had been too long since he allowed himself to do it, to act upon his needs. He welcomed the arousal that bloomed in him just by being close to the sexyness which Seongwha represented. He had that dark aura wrapped around him, but instead of pushing Hongjoong back, it was drawing him close. 

Hongjoong indeed was crazy. He was crazy for putting boundaries between them; of making Seonghwa insecured to the point to doubt his attractiveness.

“You’re so damn attractive… to the point that I can’t think when you’re always walking around naked.” As if to make his point clear, Hongjoong pushed his hips up and brushed the tented bulge against Seongwha’s thigh. He placed his hands onto the other’s abs and admired the muscles tightening for a second from the unexpected touch. His palms slide up sensually. Hongjoong put some pressure into his palms when they reached Seonghwa’s nipples. 

The sharp intake of air was a clue for Hongjoong that the other was not unaffected by his actions which drove him to continue further. Because it was clear that Seonghwa wanted to hear him and not feel him first. “Do you do it on purpose? So you can see how much I can last to be tempted like that?” Seonghwa was staring at him with a look on his face that was not letting on much, but Hongjoong smiled at him…. a smile which only was meant to show him how honest the blonde was trying to be and in the same time…. aroused. 

“You think I only want you?” Hongjoong asked and locked his hands on Seonghwa’s neck. “No, it’s not only desire.” Hongjoong kissed once again those erotic lips which were clearly made for sins. His tongue brushed against the piercing that was able to blank his mind within a second. An effect that was immediate and final. 

Hongjoong’s body was shaking by the time that he pulled away from the kiss that he compeled onto Seonghwa. His eyes closed and then he voiced out the thing that scared him most.

“I need you… and that need is dependence… it is addictive. And I don’t want to shook it off.”

Hongjoong had said even more deep things to Seonghwa before, more revealing, more effective. But back then he had a mission, a drive that was not completely honest. While now it was too real. Whether Seonghwa decided to believe him again or brush him off was completely up to him. Hence why Hongjoong remained with closed eyes. 

He was both dreading and anticipating the other’s comeback. Seonghwa was all over him physically, but he needed him the in the same way mentally, as well. 

And as if Hongjoong put some spell on him, Seonghwa was able only to stare back at him, admire and listen. He had no idea what got into him, but it was a feeling that washed away everything else that he previously had in himself. 

The way that Hongjoong was expressing himself was different than before, different than how he used to act around him these past two months that they spent here. 

It was clear what Hongjoong seeked and once that he voiced it out, Seonghwa had no other desire but to give it to him. Give him himself. 

“You’ve been on my mind all the time.” He said quietly, too drawn out by everything that his mate did and say. There was no way Seonghwa could ever speak like him, act like him and be good enough to show Hongjoong that his own feelings had changed with time. “There is nothing else that I think about. Recently…. I was freaking out by how hard you were trying to push me back. “ His right hand moved up and brushed against the blonde locks of Hongjoong’s hair. “I had no idea what troubled you and I never asked, because I didn’t want to hear how bad you felt. And you just…” he breathed out. “... you are so stupid.”

Hongjoong leaned onto the other’s hand when it was gently placed on his cheek. “I won’t push you anymore… I can’t.” Hongjoong whispered because he agreed with Seonghwa’s words that he was stupid. Indeed, he was since he successfully made his mate worry about something that could and should have been easily brushed off. Yet, he dwelled into it. His mind restless that he’d been playing Seonghwa and not really being completely dedicated to the bond. But how could he not have been? There was no real escape of it, once it’s accepted. Yes, you can damage it - like how Hongjoong did, but did not break it. He couldn’t. It mattered too much. “I promise I’ll not hide anymore from you.” As he was at it, he preferred to confess it all. “So, please don’t do it, too.” 

The other nodded, almost eagerly. He leaned down, taking Hongjoong’s lips into a hungry kiss, his mind getting blank to everything else that wasn’t Hongjoong. 

He focused on his warm body, pressed against his own, the friction was throwing Seonghwa over the edge and he had no idea when he parted from their kiss, but his tongue left a wet trail along Hongjoong’s neck. He bit it, over and over again, hands roaming over the other’s smaller frame and he felt crazy, gripping Hongjoong’s shirt in order to rip it, get rid of it. He wanted to feel his mate naked and his hands skillfully started helping, the sound of the shirt getting ripped started a fire in him. 

“I wanted you badly, this is me being completely honest.” He said breathlessly, pulling back to look at the other. The sight of Hongjoong’s naked chest, his nearly bruised neck and the look on his face was enough for Seonghwa to pick him up, moving back to the couch as it was the closest destination that he could reach. 

Instead of throwing Hongjoong against it in order to devour him, he sat down with the other in his lap. Seonghwa’s trembling hands started a fast game with the other’s jeans, trying to undo the button, slid down the zipper and get rid of them, but he figured out quickly that he needed _something else_. 

He needed Hongjoong’s help. 

“St-rip for me.” Seonghwa stuttered while speaking his mind out and his hands stopped instantly as he looked up at Hongjoong’s face.

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow at the sudden request from his mate... since it was the first time Seonghwa wanted a show from him. With a mocking smile the blonde one moved away from Seonghwa’s lap and stood in front of him. “It’s not like you left a lot of clothes for me to strip.” He scoffed but slid down the zipper and opened the front of his jeans. “So is that a thing for you?” Seonghwa looked impatient enough not to mind his words, so the blonde one pushed the material down to his ankles alongside with his briefs. With a shrug the clothes were pushed aside and not wasting any time, Hongjoong found his place back onto Seonghwa’s lap. His face centimeters away from Seonghwa’s . “And now what?” 

“Are you teasing me?” Seonghwa asked, frustrated by how okay Hongjoong looked while being completely naked, seated on him like a good boy and still did nothing. When he thought that the other wanted to play around, Seonghwa decided to return the favor. 

He bit his bottom lip, examining the expression on Hongjoong’s face. Once again, he had no idea what was rolling into Hongjoong’s head, but he was sure that they were on the same page now. Seonghwa’s hands moved along the other alpha’s thighs and he started to grip the soft skin under his fingertips, leaving red trails along. 

“Do you like to be teased?” Hongjoong pressed his hands over Seonghwa’s and took them both, only to place them on the soft material of their sofa. A dangerous smile was playing on his lips when he slid from Seonghwa’s lap, knees onto the floor while pushing the other’s legs so he can nest between them. 

Seonghwa’s eyes were following his every movement like a hawk. Then while their eyes were locked, Hongjoong palmed his arousal through his leather pants. The blonde alpha stroked his mate couple of times and when a hiss was directed at him, he skillfully unzipped Seonghwa’s front, just enough so he could take out the hard on that had been a desire of his for quite awhile.

Hongjoong licked his lips and prepared for what was to come. He was in a mood to _please_. So he wasted no further time and started working onto the other’s cock. He placed small kisses over the shaft and then licked along its length. 

Seonghwa sucked a sharp breath, his head leaning back against the couch. His eyes closed when the sensation of having Hongjoong’s lips working around his member became too strong. And then something popped into his fucked up mind and he had no idea that he was actually saying it out loud when his lips parted. 

“This is… the first time that you gi-v-ve me head.” He groaned, not even stopping the stuttering, because he wasn’t going to deny that Hongjoong surprised him once again. But it was hard to just leave his hands useless, so Seonghwa moved them towards the other’s head and he felt soft hair under his finger tips. “Proceed, baby.”

Hongjoong dared to chuckle before guiding Seonghwa’s dick into his mouth. He started slowly. He couldn’t take the whole member of the other into his mouth with his attempt, but that as if did not matter for his mate, as he felt how his legs shuddered slight as he was standing in between them. With measured speed he started blowing the other. Up and down. With each sliding down he took more and more of Seonghwa's cock, and when the tip of his head hit his throat, he could not stop the gag reflex. Hongjoong pulled up, while saliva was lingering from Seonghwa’s dick to his lips. His hands started playing with his balls.

“What do you want me to do?” Hongjoong asked.

Seonghwa had no idea what Hongjoong just did, but he didn’t want him to stop. He was reaching out again, caressing his face in some fucked up manner and his eyes opened so he could look at his mate. The sight of his moisturized lips made him slid a finger between Hongjoong's lips, watching how the other swallowed, giving him one of the sexiest looks that Seonghwa had ever seen. 

In that moment he decided. Hongjoong was owning the most beautiful face. 

“You are so hot when you do this.” He spoke shit, feeling drunk while Hongjoong was having his fun, still entertaining his cock but sucking on his finger like it was cock. He remembered the open question that he got asked and he wasn’t going to postpone his needs anymore. “Come sit on me.”

Hongjoong removed Seonghwa’s finger from his mouth, only so he could leave a last long slide along the other’s member. After that he did as he was told and moved to climb into Seonghwa’s lap once again. Hongjoong took hold over Seonghwa’s hair and pulled him hard in order to smash their lips together, initiating the dirtiest kiss they ever shared. It was all tongue battle, clashing teeth and saliva. While distracting his mate with kissing, Hongjoong started humping him. He had pushed back his own need, to work up Seonghwa to the point that he saw and wanted nobody else, but somewhere along the way... the opposite effect happened. 

“I can’t…” Seonghwa growled against his lips, biting Hongjoong’s bottom one as he had little self control when the other was so initiative, doing things that he hadn’t done in their previous sex sessions. But no matter how much he wanted to give Hongjoong control over the situation, his primitive need to take things in hands made him finally move. His hands started the action first, touching Hongjoong’s body hungrily, leaving trails along his back, gripping his firm butt. The outcome of that was a hard slap that echoed in the quiet room and Seonghwa got wild after that. 

He reached out for his cock, letting the other adjust when he felt where Seonghwa was going. When Hongjoong slid down on him, he was already shaking, letting his mate go all the way down until both of them connected just how they wanted to. 

And then, right after he started a slow pace, Seonghwa felt something else. It was a burning feeling in his stomach, something that he was faintly remembering as a distant emotion that someone else was leaving inside of him. That feeling was much stronger now, it felt real and shared. And the fact that he knew what Hongjoong would give and do for him was enough to finally make him feel completed. 

“Joong…” He mumbled, pulling Hongjoong’s face close to his own again so he could kiss him, his lips messily moving against the other’s, trembling and wanting more. “I…”

The blonde one looked at him through dazed and unfocused eyes. Only his reaction was showing Seonghwa that he’d heard him in the first place. Hongjoong was trembling from all sensations coming to him at once. The slow pace that they were having only allowed him to feel everything in HD. It had been quite the time since their last streamy time together and having Seonghwa in between his arms and legs was too much for him. 

And as if something flipped within Seonghwa, he suddenly picked up his pace, gripping Hongjoong’s thighs, steadying him while he started thrusting up hard in him, giving himself a great distraction. The fact that his brain and heart wanted one, and his body another, was what made him so frustrated with himself. The way that his mate started letting out quiet moans, sounded so sexy that Seonghwa didn’t even want to interrupt him. Yet, his lips were constantly searching for Hongjoong’s ones, his tongue was battling with the other, shutting his moans with each kiss. One hand moved to Hongjoong’s member and Seonghwa wrapped around it, stroking him messily so he could feel the same passion. 

This time he heard Hongjoong’s moans louder and the praise of his work was finally enough. Seonghwa’s thrusts became erratic, he was pushing up against the other’s body, stroking him along with himself. Series of powerful thrusts followed and Seonghwa was back to biting the other, sinking his canines into Hongjoong’s neck, remarking him for the nth time, just because he had left his mate starve for too long. 

His mind became a mess, emotions wrapping around him entirely as the passion was building up too fast. The moment when he started feeling it too powerfully, Seonghwa gripped the base of Hongjoong’s cock and postponed his orgasm, because he wanted the other to feel him first. And he reached his climax fast, filling up Hongjoong with a last growl, his teeth still messing with his skin, ripping it from the satisfaction that shook his body. 

Seonghwa’s heart burst when he heard the whine coming out of the other’s lips due to his neglected member. He was still in his high when he started stroking Hongjoong again, making it fast and hard so he could finish him as well. And he didn’t need much to release against his hand, his body convulsing beautifully as he tried to grip onto something, tensing so hard around Seonghwa that he closed his eyes in bliss. 

That … was so far the best sex that he had with Hongjoong, and the distant reminder of what the other put him through before that moment made him smile. 

“I have no idea why, but you freaked me out.” He commented, feeling how Hongjoong was still shaking, his forehead bumped against his sweaty shoulder. 

“Just hold me a little longer.” Hongjoong could not stop the aftershocks of his climax as it was so damn powerful that he wanted nothing else but to stay in place. He never wanted to move from this moment. He wanted to capture it. How connected he felt with his mate. 

And then words that he didn’t expect reached his ears. 

“I think that I love you.” Seonghwa said, no sound of joy in his voice. His hands were making lazy circles along Hongjoong’s back and his eyes were looking at the ceiling. He was thinking about the feeling that he had while he and Hongjoong were too much into each other. It wasn’t just sex this time and he was sure that his mate was able to feel it. 

As if it was not enough that Hongjoong was fucked into oblivion, Seonghwa wanted to mindfuck him as well. His whole body tensed once again. He could still feel Seonghwa buried in himself, even though he was limp. And now his words made his heart full and heavy, too. 

Hongjoong dared to move his head up, so he could catch Seonghwa’s eyes where he could find the truth. “You _think_?” He asked then. 

“Yes,  _ think _ .” Seonghwa replied, knowing that his words had weight because of Hongjoong’s previous confessions. He knew now that the other had doubts, so whatever he wanted to explain right now, was going to get under deep investigation. “It’s just …. happening recently. When you stopped telling me things, when you stopped wanting me. I didn’t feel anything wrong with the connection, since we are together all the time. You never rejected me openly. It’s not that, it’s not the bond. It’s me. The way that you make me feel. I can’t even explain it, but whenever I kick you away from myself, it’s because I still manage to force myself to keep you away. When you pulled away from me I couldn’t understand. Why? It opened my eyes in a way and it changed our roles. It was my turn to make you…. trust me.”

Hongjoong was taking every word the other was spilling, as if he was a starved wild animal. He had not thought about Seonghwa’s feelings all that time, but only about his own. And now when his mate was sharing his thoughts with him... it was overwhelming. 

“What do you mean?” Hongjoong quietly asked, as if he raised his voice a little and the dream that was currently playing was going to vanish into thin air. 

“Um…” Seonghwa felt nervous again. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he was doing so fine until now that it started to irritate him. He wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t stupid in his head as well as everything there was correctly ordered. But somehow saying things out felt like a hard thing to do. He bit his bottom lip, avoiding Hongjoong’s eyes for a moment and tried to just relax. “You became the one who had to be chased by me. I started feeling different things - rejected, angry, lonely even. I wanted to tell you, but you just put some weird barrier between us and I blamed myself for that. I know that what had happened in my house fucked us up. Even then, I left you behind, let you feel sick and wasted time until you actually fainted in my hands.” He said, rolling his eyes back on Hongjoong’s pretty face. “I think I realized it there and then. That I _think_ that I love you.”

Hongjoong was trying to keep himself composed and to listen to what Seonghwa wanted to tell him. He wanted to understand his mate and his reasons. But oddly enough they were connected to the same thing that actually brought all those doubts to Hongjoong. How he had allowed to get that low in order to obtain the attention he needed from Seonghwa. How he had obtained the results which were now being expressed by Seonghwa. 

Seeing the way how honest Seongwha was, made Hongjoong confess that shame finally. 

“I manipulated you to care for me.” Hongjoong was brought down from his high and it was both in an amazing and bad way - Seonghwa was saying that he thought he loved him. Which was way better than that he cared for him. “I knew something was wrong, but didn’t say anything.” 

“Why?” Seonghwa felt confused. He kept frowning at his mate, mentally going back there at that time, when Hongjoong avoided him whenever he tried to approach him and ask if he was okay. The other drew a line and kept Seonghwa behind it until he stopped crossing it purposely. He had failed whatever test Hongjoong set for him.

“Because ..” it was hard to say it outloud. Hongjoong had not voiced that even in front of his keeper, and San was the only one who knew him like the back of his palm. “I didn’t want you to see me weak, but in the same time I wanted you ... to see me.” 

Seonghwa saw the guilt in Hongjoong’s pretty eyes. The other instantly tried to pull away but he hurried up to grab him, keeping him on the same place. 

“No.” He warned, keeping Hongjoong under his gaze. “We are not done with this. Let me explain, you know how hard it is.” He said, feeling frustrated to hear everything that his mate was keeping in himself for months. 

But it finally started to make sense and if Seonghwa had to hear worse explanations in order to fix everything or explain himself, then so be it. 

“You know that my senses are fucked up. Whenever I start feeling something I get scared, like I will die if I lose it. Fuck me, Hongjoong, when I fell for that asshole Wooyoung back then I didn’t need him to do anything for me.” He started his speech angrily, gripping Hongjoong’s wrists a little bit too hard. “But that feeling slowly faded, because he wasn’t there to keep it alive. I stopped feeling again, because this is just who I am. Fuck, what I’m trying to say now is that you made me feel …. _something_. When you tried to take it away, I didn’t let you. Because I don’t want to. I want you, okay? It’s not my fucked up wolf side that wants you. It's just me.”

It was twisted how Seongwha used his ex to describe to Hongjoong the way he felt. Hongjoong’s insides twisted at that. But knowing who Seonghwa was and what he’d been through… his logic was the least of his problems. The only thing that mattered was that it made sense to Hongjoong, he understood him. And his desire to be acknowledged just in the way that he needed to, was finally being fulfilled. 

“I don’t _think,_ Seonghwa… I _know_ that I love you.” 

And Seonghwa was too frustrated to pay attention on the words when the other said it clearly and easily. He didn’t want to compare himself to Hongjoong, because damn, he couldn’t. The levels of trust that Hongjoong had shown him during all the fights on the arena, all the bullshits that Seonghwa was doing repeatedly. He had hurt the other’s feelings more times than he could count and he knew that if Hongjoong had to give him back all that bad attitude, he wouldn’t even stand a day. 

“You… you do.” He hurried up to say, searching for understanding in Hongjoong’s eyes as he felt too nervous and he knew that Hongjoong could sense it. “But do you get what I say?” Seonghwa asked that like a greedy kid seeking attention. “Whatever is based on instincts or the bond, is just reaching me physically. And even that…. I like that, because it shows me you… it’s reflecting you. I couldn’t feel physical pain before you… and your bite is just doing it and I like it. I like feeling you. But you made me see you, you did, baby, I’m slow in realizing shit, we had to be both fucked up before I realized that I can’t keep living like this... but you are so shit, changing your hair just because I like it, sleeping on the edge of the bed just to be away from me. That…. th-at...was… bad.”

The way Seonghwa was expressing himself was absolutely adorable in Hongjoong’s eyes. 

“If I knew that sexing you the first thing when you went through the door would lead to this...” Hongjoong gestured between their naked chests, while sporting a small smile on his lips. “...I’d done it long time ago.” He snuggled against Seonghwa’s neck and placed a kiss against his mark. “I understand, Seonghwa….I understand now.” With that he bit his teeth into the soft skin and re-marked it, claiming the other as his own once again. This time he paid close attention to the way Seonghwa moaned by the action, how his hands pressed him closer, while his body tensed. 

Hongjoong felt blood rushing into his mouth, but he did not stop his abuse, only bit harder. Once he was satisfied with the wound he left there, he moved up to place an innocent kiss over Seoghwa’s lips. 

“I will continue to make you feel, Seonghwa.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like one of those 'porn with plot' fics xDDDD  
> It feels like a fill in chapter, but we hope that you will like the smut? xDD  
> You sure will, since horny Joong is what was needed to end their silly fights.  
> So, *insert diplomatic voice* in case you forgot, Joong had rut, then he got hot with his mate....   
> This might *or not* be how the mpreg will work in our fic XD is it too early to comment this?   
> Maybe.   
> So now they are in loveeeeeee, next chapters will be fluuuuuf. Even though we have no more written chapters and we have to sit down and write xD  
> But ! As you know, the two of us don't like to leave our characters happy and satisfied, so after the fluff, you will have to suffer with them again xDDD  
> Is it too early to comment this?  
> Again - maybe xD  
> See you, and thanks for commenting always! We appreciate it <3


	4. Love.

**Chapter 4.**

  
  


Seonghwa was focused on escaping the black and white alpha that strictly attacked only him, as if having a previous plan on his mind. Eden was paired up with Jiho, who addressed openly that he wanted to spar Hongjoong and Seonghwa. 

At the first minutes of the sparring, Seonghwa was playing the usual role as the bait that had to distract the two opponents, but he was predictable for Jiho. 

When he felt claws scratching his back, Seonghwa tried to shrug him. Jiho didn’t just attack him, he wanted to piss him off to the point of going out of his comfort zone. 

Seonghwa couldn’t even turn to see what Eden and Hongjoong were doing, because his senses were sharpening each time that Jiho jumped at him. Seonghwa could literally see the smirk on the wolf’s face as he dodged the attack skillfully. Until Jiho figured out his strategy and caught him off guard. 

In that moment, Seonghwa stopped thinking about running from him, instead he turned around and growled. 

Jiho attacked again, his claws running through Seonghwa’s muzzle. 

Then he stopped in a defensive stance, waiting for a reaction. Their eyes met for a moment and Seonghwa felt something that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He felt angry. 

He tasted his own blood digging his claws into the dusty ground, releasing another warning growl. Jiho’s only reaction was a low snarl as he didn’t move from his position. Just then Seonghwa figured out what his plan was - he wanted to get some answers. Their previous encounter showed that Jiho held some suspicions against him and Seonghwa could swear that he wanted that bastard gone right this instant. 

He scratched the ground as he backed away, not giving a sign of any pain despite the many wounds that the other had given him during the sparing. 

Without anyone’s warning, Seonghwa started to switch, growling the whole time when his blood was boiling with rage. Who the fuck was Jiho to dig in his life? To search for fucking clues of something that Seonghwa didn’t plan to share with him. If he wanted his ass to be beaten, then they could do it the other way. 

The way that Seonghwa had better control over himself. 

His bones cracked, the furr disappeared into his skin, his muscles were painfully tensed and as he got back to himself, he noticed the startled expression on Jiho’s stupid face. His weird eyes were seizing him up and down and if he didn’t get what Seonghwa wanted to do, then he was going to show him. 

“Seonghwa, the sparring isn’t over yet” Yunho’s voice reached him from behind, but Seonghwa ignored it. Just like he purposely ignored Hongjoong and Eden, as well as San who was there to watch the fight too.

Hoseok had sent the invitation to the clan that had attacked them with no warning and they accepted the offer for an Arena fight. Nobody was surprised as that Im clan seemed to be bunch of assholes who didn’t get scared. Well…. not for now at least. 

“Switch back and try me.” Seonghwa spread his arms, showing exactly what Jiho had warned him not to. The arrogance that the Parks had in their veins. 

Not surprisingly for him, Jiho started to switch again, just as fast as Seonghwa did. The two of them kept glaring at each other, but a moment later, Jiho’s lips twisted in a smirk. 

“Isn’t that weird. You don’t even flinch.” Jiho stepped closer, Seonghwa kept him under his gaze until he was just a few steps away from him. Just then Seonghwa snarled at him, not accepting his closeness. 

“If I flinch, isn’t that going to be considered as weakness?” Seonghwa spoke back to him, reaching out to push Jiho back by using a little force. 

The guy kept smirking, shrugging casually. “Everyone feels pain. At least those with basic physical sensations. I wonder…. are you this insensitive all the time?”

At that point, Seonghwa just didn’t care about what others would think of him. He just punched Jiho in the face, expressing at least some sensation. 

“Don’t fucking imply anything about my personal life. Don’t mess with me.” He said lowly, hearing Yunho’s fast steps from behind. “This time I’m gonna tell you something about myself, if you are that interested….”

“I wouldn’t say interested…” Jiho interrupted him, wiping the blood that Seonghwa’s hit brought to his mouth. He spit on the ground, pointing at him. 

“.... I don’t like it when bastards like you mess in things that I want to keep for myself.” Seonghwa finished his sentence, ignoring the other’s stupid remark. 

“What are you trying to do exactly, Jiho?” Seonghwa heard Hongjoong’s voice and a second later his mate was right beside his side. 

“Nothing. Just testing your mate’s instincts.” Jiho responded, averting his eyes from Seonghwa’s pissed face. 

He followed the look instinctively, catching Jiho into a stare that was locked onto Hongjoong’s form. The intensity in that fucked up look made something flip inside of him and Seonghwa reached to the side, pushing his mate behind himself. 

“Don’t even look at him.” He warned, narrowing his eyes at Jiho, who looked like he just gave up on being stoic and cool. 

He raged back at Seonghwa with the same intention to express his own feelings. “I’ve been looking at him like that more than you can imagine. Do you think that it light up my fire after all that time?”

“One more thing….” Seonghwa laughed out quietly, not really enjoying the fact that he let Jiho fulfill his task in pissing him off. He noticed Eden’s form moving behind Jiho and their eyes met for a second. Eden shook his head, but Seonghwa was far too angry to listen to his trainer. “Say one more bullshit and you might get more answers from me.”

“Can’t wait.” Jiho snickered.

“Did you forget your promise?” Hongjoong asked randomly but for everyone on the training mat it was clear that question had only one purpose - to remind Jiho something that had happened between the two of them. “Know your place. You will not talk like that to my mate.” The look in the blond alpha’s eyes was detached of any emotion. It was blank.

“Calm down.” Eden spoke up from aside, handing Jiho a robe, just in the same time as Yunho covered Hongjoong’s shoulders with one and handed Seonghwa a piece of cloth as well, but the alpha was too busy to control his rising anger to care about dressing. 

“If this practice is over, then you should all go wash up your wounds.” Eden kept talking evenly, but the Jiho guy didn’t seem like he was listening to any of them. 

He just scoffed and made a step back. “What wounds though?” He made a motion over himself and turned around, cockily leaving the scene. 

“What an ass.” Yunho mumbled, keeping Hongjoong’s side and tried to lighten up the mood, but none of them seemed to catch up jokes right now. 

“I won’t tolerate his stupid behavior, I am sorry Hongjoong, but if this happens again, I will inform your father.” Eden also turned around, but before he could retreat, Seonghwa spoke to him. 

“He did nothing. Apart of trying to get me out of my fucking skin. Don’t make me look like a fucking coward.” He hissed and let Eden go wherever the hell he wanted. Seonghwa finally turned around to face his mate and took a good look at him. Eden had barely scratched him while Seonghwa was busy to fight Jiho. But there were still open cuts here and there and he reached out to touch one of them that followed Hongjoong’s jaw. “Sorry for that. That fucker Jiho just wanna see what the rogues taught me.”

“Dude, are you okay?” Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed and his questioning eyes locked with Seonghwa for a moment. “You never talk about that.”

“Maybe I should. It’s nothing that can actually hurt me anymore.” Seonghwa looked back at Hongjoong and wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him into his embrace. One sniff from his special scent and he was already calming down. It was the only thing that was bringing sanity back to Seonghwa in times when he was losing himself. 

“The lovebirds are on it again.” San finally opened his mouth and once again his voice dripped from sarcasm. 

“Shut up.” Hongjoong bickered back at his keeper while wrapping his own hands around Seonghwa’s waist. He felt how irritated his mate was and he had a right to be. Jiho had provoked him for no reason at all. Hongjoong did not actually had the time to dwell into the situation as he had been occupied in his own sparring with Eden, but he didn’t have to be a genius to know what Jiho had in mind when he announced that he was joining their training session.

Jiho was a skilled fighter. That was the reason why Hongjoong did not mind him and his intentions. They needed to improve their fighting skills if they were going back willingly into the arena. His fire for winnings and claiming that they were a clan with whom nobody had to mess with, was once again burning in him. And for that, he had to thank Seonghwa. 

Because they were finally back on track. They were on the same page. They were okay. The last couple of days they’d spent together. Not even their betas were allowed within close proximity. They needed that time to be with each other and to straighten what had been crumbled due to their own mistakes and doubts. 

To Hongjoong those days were pure happiness. Not to mention all their hot activities that kept them occupied for the most of their time. 

“You okay?” He mumbled quietly into the other’s ear and squeezed his arms, in order the other to come back to his senses. 

“Yeah, just thinking.” Seonghwa replied, frowning at Hongjoong. One look at him was enough that he was sharing the same feeling, but since they promised to tell each other everything from now on, Seonghwa decided to start doing exactly that. But his thoughts were getting confusing after he switched from being angry at Jiho to worrying about how easily he started to explode recently. Like the border that he and Eden had built years ago was falling and what awaited him from the other side was a bit hard to control. 

It wasn’t like he would snap and kill, but he recalled the moment of the attack, the shooter who came into his way and how he chose to threaten him. 

“I don’t wanna follow our strategy. I wanna fight back just this time.” He told Hongjoong and curiously studied his face. “Is that gonna be okay with you?”

Hongjoong stared at the other’s bruised face. “You sure about that?” It was not like Hongjoong did not have faith in his mate, but keeping in mind it was Seonghwa who came up with their fighting strategy in the first place …. and the history he shared with his wolf form… Hongjoong was not confident to take any decisions on the matter himself. 

The blond alpha quickly threw a look at Eden who was patiently standing couple of steps from them, clearly eavesdropping. 

“You are aware we’re still here right? Listening on what you’re talking about?” San butted in once again and to that Hongjoong had no choice but to turn around and take a look at his keeper. The hell was his problem this time, Hongjoong wondered. 

“You know what? You and I should have a long talk later.” 

“Then we should, as well.” Eden said, a small smile lingering on his lips. 

Seonghwa nodded, knowing that he needed to build up another wall if he was about to openly attack someone. And apart of Hongjoong, he trusted his beta and his trainer only. He sighed, leaning down to peck Hongjoong’s forehead before pulling back from him entirely. 

“I start to understand what Jiho tried to do. He figured out our plan, which means that everyone can do it. We are getting predictable, so we should think of a better plan.” He said, glancing at Yunho. “And you, why are you so quiet recently?”

Yunho got startled by the question. His eyes moved from Seonghwa, to Eden, and then back to him. “Just enjoying the weather and all.” He stated, turning around to a random direction. “I’m going to check up on Hana and the girls. I’m hungry.” 

And with that he left. 

And that was one cheap ass excuse that made Seonghwa curious if there was actually a better reason for him to act weird and distant. It wasn’t something that Yunho would usually do, especially in San’s company. 

“Did I miss something?” He directed his question to Eden, but the later was already spinning on his heels. He clearly ignored Seonghwa and that was even more absurd. “Cool, now this makes me angry.” 

“They fought about something earlier. Hope this helps.” San nicely provided the needed information and sighed at Hongjoong. “Wanna talk now?” 

And as if Hongjoong had waited for that kind of invitation as a starved man, he nodded. 

“Our place?” 

“Yes.” 

“Where is my last kiss then?” Seonghwa felt like everyone dissed him suddenly, including his mate who had some kind of an issue with his keeper that he of course had no idea about. He was frowning while thinking about it, but the ridiculousness of the situation made him laugh and instead of waiting, he pulled Hongjoong closer by himself and placed a quick kiss to his lips. “Here. Now you can leave me alone.”

Hongjoong wanted to both slap his mate and kiss him harder due to this unusual overly sweet self which he presented out of nowhere. And on top of all, he choice to do it while there was audience. Hongjoong wanted to bang his head against something due to how weak in the knees this act from Seonghwa was making him look like. 

“I’ll make it up to you later.” With those words Hongjoong dropped the robe that was covered him until now and shifted.

Couple of seconds later San was running beside him towards the woods. 

**************

  
  


Cans of beers in front of the fireplace, grilled meat, and the company of the Kim clan was not exactly how Seonghwa pictured his conversation with Eden and Yunho. He somehow managed to get them together at one place, feeling awkward to sit between the two of them when they were clearly acting like they weren’t in the same dimension. 

  
That was so far the first time that Seonghwa was left behind and had absolutely no idea what the hell was happening while he was trying to get back to being in good terms with Hongjoong. And it looked like he had missed a lot. 

“So, Mr. Big and scary, I hope you are done with treating me bad, because I have a mate now.” It was Yeosang who saved them from the silence as he approached with the little dude Jongho, who looked like he was about to die from embarrassment. 

Seonghwa looked up from the fire and met the sassy look that Yeosang was giving him. There was a clear wound on the left side of his neck that proved the words right. The omega was really a mated wolf now and Seonghwa had this inner need to jump on his feet and find Hongjoong so he could deliver him the news. The warm feeling that filled him up from inside was both intriguing and disturbing, since Hongjoong was away in the woods with San for too long. He wasn’t planning to ruin their moment anyway, so he used the time to understand what was wrong with Eden and Yunho…. which wasn’t going well. 

“I wasn’t treating you bad.” Seonghwa shrugged, throwing a smile at the tensed boy beside Yeosang. “It’s good that you took him. I was getting crazy because of him and how close he is to my mate.”

Jongho smiled. “Well, he is weird. I actually hated him before he approached me with a date offer.”

Yeosang slapped his arm playfully and started pushing him away from Seonghwa and his friends. “This is too much information for the Parks. Let’s go find Mingi and see how his flirting is going.”

Yunho finally reacted as he looked away from the fire and the sausage that he was grilling there. He looked surprised by what Yeosang just stated openly but Seonghwa knew him good enough to realize one more thing - he missed out a lot of gossips. 

“Mingi is flirting? I thought that he doesn’t want to follow Hoseok’s order to get himself a mate.” He said, frowning up at the startled couple.    
  


“And how do you know that?” Seonghwa stepped in the conversation, rocking one eyebrow at Yunho.

Yeosang shrugged, but started looking around. “I guess Mingi started sharing with everyone. See you around guys.” 

As he retreated with his mate, Seonghwa finally blew up. He threw his own steck into the fire and opened his mouth when the silence was about to engulf the three of them again.

“So, mind telling me why you get frustrated over the fact that Mingi wanna get into a relationship?” He asked and couldn’t ignore how Eden peeked over his shoulder so he could have a look at Yunho as well. 

“Well it’s just … I’m not frustrated, first. Second, you know how he and San are together all the time, so I guess San felt a bit left behind after Mingi dissed him these days.” Yunho tried to defend himself, throwing Seonghwa a questioning look. “Besides, Hongjoong was kind of mean to him, that's what San had shared with me. And do you mind telling me why the fuck you are so interested to know everything?”

Seonghwa frowned. “Because all of you keep things from me. Just because I’m trying to fix my shit with my mate doesn’t mean that you have to pull away from me. And fight with Eden behind my back.” He argued, turning to his other side to find Eden blinking frustratedly.

“Please, keep me out of this.” Eden pulled his grilled sausage and took a bite from it, burning himself in the process. “Shit.”

“Don’t ‘shit’ me around, you two better start talking.” Seonghwa pointed at the two of them and sighed deeply. “I’m not gonna stop before you tell me what’s wrong.”

Yunho and Eden shared looks, both tensing as their eyes locked in a silent agreement. Seonghwa had a hard time to examine both of them at once, but he noticed how Yunho’s expression was slowly changing from being frustrated to being drawn back. If that had happened before some time, Seonghwa wouldn’t even pay attention, but now he knew things that were leaving him restless. 

When Yunho shared his secret with him, about his past feelings for Eden and how the later chose to leave the Park mansion right after Seonghwa was back and recovered, Seonghwa felt like he was too involved into the problem. He knew just how much he meant for Yunho, he knew that his keeper wanted to end his life because of him and Eden’s help was the reason why Yunho was okay now. 

But was he really okay? Was he okay for real now that Eden was back and literally lived in the same place as Yunho? If Seonghwa could place himself in Yunho’s shoes, he would have snapped long time ago. Hell, he wouldn’t even live one day in Hongjoong’s company without having the right to touch him. And exactly because he had felt the bitter feeling of getting distant from his mate, he knew how bad it felt. And Yunho didn’t even have the chance to have Eden in the way that he wanted him. 

That drama was expanding with time and if Yunho started to feel awkward in Eden’s company, then something must have happened between them. And Yunho was keeping it for himself, probably feeling scared to share his feelings with Seonghwa. 

Because of the rules, because of the fate of all keepers. But somehow, Seonghwa couldn’t accept it. He wanted his beta to be happy at all cost. 

And Eden…. Eden could be harsh for the sake of keeping the peace. 

“We had a fight.” Eden spoke first, taking another bite from the sausage. He wasn’t looking at Yunho anymore. “He just disagreed with me on a matter. Don’t worry your head with that. Let’s talk about your plan to fight on the arena. You did a lot on the battle field here and we spoke about it. If you snap when you see the Im alpha couple, you will really make them think that you are a freaking rogue. They received your  _ message _ . You better control yourself.”

Seonghwa was nodding, agreeing to whatever Eden was telling him, but at the back of his head he felt agitated to argue about different things. Like how easily Eden avoided talking about his verbal fight with Yunho. It wasn’t right to make it seem like nothing, when it could be something that probably hurt the beta. Eden was too harsh, not really thinking about how he sounded or what his words did to people. 

“I know, I just needed to scare them away and I did. They must know that there is someone in this clan that’s different.” Seonghwa replied, trying to see how he looked from aside. His idea wasn’t that bad, but it was indeed dangerous. “This is our advantage. I can’t act weird on the arena after I sent a message like that.” 

“You are getting braver. I can’t tell if it’s a good thing yet. But I will be behind your back at all cost. We will think about a new strategy tomorrow.” Eden said, sharing a smile with Seonghwa and finished his food before pushing the stick into the fire. “I need to find the Jiho guy and give him a piece of my mind. If he thinks that he stands higher than you here, then he needs to be reassured. Piece of shit.” He stood up from his spot and brushed his golden bangs away from his sweaty face, throwing Seonghwa one of his serious looks. “Instead of gossiping around, you should focus on yourself. We are fine.” With that he finally glanced over at Yunho and the other nodded slowly, raising his thumbs up. 

“Absolutely.”

Seonghwa wanted to protest again, because first of all, knowing things about his keeper and his stupid trainer wasn’t considered a gossip. But Eden already merged with the gathered crowd, leaving him and Yunho alone. And as he left, Seonghwa could get his answers just as he wanted to have them - more realistic. 

He turned fully towards Yunho and raised an eyebrow challengingly. “Disagreed with Eden on what matter?”

“Oh come on, man. I was just angry at him.” Yunho replied, looking around as if Eden would creep out of a corner and hear him. “Told him that I wanna throw a party for my birthday. You know how me and you always did that when we were free, living in the fancy hotel downtown of Jeju. How wasted we were getting….”

Seonghwa tilted his head, somehow managing to recall at least one birthday at that time of their lives. They used to really feel free. Working as lifeguards at fancy pools, getting wasted. Yunho would spend his nights lonely, while Seonghwa would fuck around. They would go to work wasted on the very next morning, hiding behind sunglasses. Seonghwa would go to his swimming lessons later and feel lazy until Wooyoung showed up. It were different times. It felt like ages had passed, even though they were out of that life just for several months. 

A longing smile formed on Seonghwa’s lips and he nodded. “Yeah. Sometimes I miss swimming. I miss the kids too. We both had changed so much for such a short time. Look at us now…. we don’t even do any of the things that we used to like.”

Yunho nodded, sharing that smile with him. “Exactly. I wanted to bring that feeling back to you. Now is the right time… with all of the deaths here, all the tension. One night partying won’t hurt anyone. But Eden he….”

“He doesn’t understand. But it’s just the way he is, you know?” Seonghwa put a hand on Yunho’s thigh and rubbed it urgently. “Come on, don’t be mad at him. He can skip the party if he wants. We can go to a lake, there are a lot of lakes here. Me and you will swim….”

“Eden thinks that it’s a bad idea, considering that you will fight at the arena soon.” His keeper replied. 

Seonghwa shook his head. “It won’t bother me. Hongjoong as well. I’m sure.” 

“The change of the atmosphere though. From a rich ass hotel parties and clubs to a lake party.” Yunho finally laughed, gracing Seonghwa with a strike of warmness. 

He laughed along, nodding his head eagerly. “I don’t care anymore. Fuck Eden. Let’s go find Joong and San.”

“Do you miss him?”

The question was thrown so randomly at him, but Seonghwa could feel it in his core. That nagging feeling to be close to his mate when he was somewhere away from him. He tried to hide it, but Yunho could read him like an open book. So instead of keeping silence, Seonghwa just flicked with his tongue piercing, nodding his head eagerly. 

“I wanna take him home and….” 

Yunho interrupted him quickly and stood up, grabbing his wrist to pull him up as well. “Too much information, dude. Too much.” he laughed along with Seonghwa, dragging him away from the fire place and everyone who had gathered there, leading him to the forest. “You know, I know how a healthy relationship looks like when I see one....” He said through his chuckles. 

The inside joke made Seonghwa burst in laughter and he pushed Yunho on the shoulder, nearly sending him to the ground as the other was holding his stomach. 

“Not again with that shit.” 

  
  
  


**************

  
  
  


They were running through the woods for hours and hours. Both of them were in their own worlds and in the same time together. It was how it had always been. They were an alpha and his keeper, their lives were mingled years back and they knew that nothing was able to separate them. Even their fights had their limits. And usually they were over when Hongjoong came to his senses. San knew when to be close and when to step back…. but in times when Hongjoong was that lost as he had been for the last two months, he had to stick to him. 

But for Hongjoong exactly that was the problem - he’d thought that he needed space while San was all over him. 

The alpha could not lie though… exactly San’s outburst towards him was like an eye opener for him. 

Hongjoong had mistreated San in such a bad way that he honestly was not sure what to say to make it up to him. Saying sorry was not that easy. 

The time was flying quickly and the night even fall down, yet Hongjoong did not stop, taking different paths on which they could run and spent their energy on. 

At some point San got tired of the whole ordeal that Hongjoong was putting him through and he shifted back to his human form. The process was no fun at all, he could still feel each bone of his cracking and taking their rightful places until he was up on his two legs. 

“Stop wasting time, Joong. I’m going to wait you by the lake.” 

With that San turned around and walked away from Hongjoong’s white wolf. 

Hongjoong ceased his moving, but remained on the spot. He wanted to delay their conversation just until he cleared his head. He needed to come up with the best excuse. 

But if he was going for excuses then that meant that he did not want to be honest with San. 

He’d shared his dark ‘secret’ with Seonghwa already, he talked about his problems, and that lead to both of them fixing their issues… exactly as San had advised days back… so why it was so hard for Hongjoong to say ‘thank you’ to his keeper and advisor? 

The wolf laid down on the forest floor, muzzle buried in fallen leaves and dried up branches. The scent of the forest had this natural effect to calm him down. Its freshness was pure and made him feel like he belonged. 

There was one image that was making him disturbed though - the pained look over San’s face on that day that he basically threw him out of his house. San had done nothing to deserve such treatment, yet Hongjoong could not acknowledge that at the time. He had been so irritated, frustrated and out of his element that he acted as the worst side of himself. 

But San knew him. San was not going to judge him. San would never do it. 

That was all that was swirling inside Hongjoong’s mind … and that was because… he realized he took the beta for granted. His trust and well being should not have been ignored, but Hongjoong did it. 

A whine ripped out of the wolf’s lungs. 

He was a jerk. He was selfish. He was a dumbass, he admitted it in front of himself… now he only had to man up and tell it to the person who actually deserved to hear those words. 

With a defeated sigh, Hongjoong raised up on his four legs and rushed towards the lake that kept a lot of memories. When they were young they used to play there a lot - it was a usual spot for cubs to play and fool around. But due to the often attacks during the years, the place had been kind of deserted by most of the clan members since it was classified as dangerous - too open and clear for ambushes. And of course, nobody wanted silly youngsters to be left without supervision so the adults did not approve of those who decided to visit the lake.

However, Hongjoong and San were different story. Or at least the alpha was. He did not follow anyone’s rules but his father’s ones. Even to this day, he preferred to listened to the old man. Yes, he was taking decisions on his own and once he took one, nobody could swing it around. But until the day he was announced as the leader of the clan, he knew that he had to pay respect to his father. 

The alpha was lost in his thoughts to the point that he didn’t even realize how he’d made it to the place where San was patiently waiting for him. The beta was sitting on the lake shore with crossed legs, while staring at the night sky. 

Hongjoong shifted then. 

San knew the other was there but remained silent. 

“Hey.” The blond one moved swiftly and sat down beside him.

“You took your time.” San scoffed but did not look at Hongjoong. There was no irritation written on his face at all, Hongjoong examined it carefully. 

“I was lost in my thoughts.” The alpha mumbled.

“I didn’t mean you coming to the lake, Joong.” At that the keeper finally looked at Hongjoong. And there it was once again that look on his face - he was as if looking straight through the alpha, seeing and knowing everything about him. “I meant that you finally fixed the problem between you and Seonghwa.” 

Pang of guilt strike at Hongjoong right away. 

“It’s that obvious, huh?” He tried to mask his uneasiness with an awkward laughter. 

“Even the blind ones can see it written on your face, dumbass.” San smiled then, finally having mercy over the other. 

The keeper took a hold of Hongjoong’s hand then. “Can you tell me now?” 

Here he was once again, San taking the first step as always in making things right between them. It was unusual for them to be distant and it happened rarely. Each time Hongjoong was the one who had messed up or had anger issues that lead to that kind of situations. 

“It’s not important now.” Hongjoong felt like traitor.

“The last time you tried to hide something was about Jiho… I understood back then, I will do it now again. I’m always on your side … I can’t believe I actually have to say it.” 

“It’s not about that.” Hongjoong interrupted San. It was hard for him to confess what exactly troubled him because … it was his own thing, and it did not relate to anyone else but Seonghwa. For some selfish reason he wanted to keep what he shared with his mate only between them. He’d never had such thoughts before. Not with his previous ‘secrets’ that San had to milk out of him while sulking at him or anything. Even the Jiho thing was not the same in Hongjoong’s eyes.

“I don’t…” San started but Hongjoong interrupted him once again.

“It’s about my bond with Seonghwa.” 

“Okay?” It was clear that the keeper wanted more information than that… since it was plain that what caused the whole situation was because of the hot mate of his. 

“I had my doubts about it… and I was angry and all.” Hongjoong tried to summarize as much as he could without getting in too many details. “I needed space but you…”

San gripped Hongjoong’s hand tightly. No more words were needed, he understood. The keeper was doing his job - being next to the alpha, but right then he was not needed. 

“Next time just explain and don’t act like that. I was worried.” 

“Don’t act like an angel now… you can be angry at me. I was unnecessary rude with you. You did nothing wrong, I was the one on the edge.” 

“I’m not acting.. I’m really an angel who was tasked with taking care of a reckless guy like you.” San laughed out, easing the heavy mood that Hongjoong brought upon them. Yes, San had been angry at Hongjoong for not giving in, for not discussing the problem with him, for not seeking him out… it was so damn strange. “I guess… I have to adapt to the new you now? You won’t need me that much… you need him more.” 

“Don’t say it like that.” Hongjoong was not someone that cried easily but the words that left San’s mouth hit him hard. His chest even squeezed from the way that the keeper said such thing with ease and understanding. 

“It’s the truth, Joong.” San smiled. “We didn’t think about that before, but it’s expected and natural.” 

At that Hongjoong crumbled.

“I manipulated him. I knew there was something wrong with me but refused to let him help me.” His words were projecting his inner desire to make everything clear between him and San, he was not going to keep that from the other. Not if it meant that San was going to think that he was no longer his person, keeper and most trusted one. “When Jia poisoned me.. I wanted him to care for me, okay? That’s so low, I know. I realized it only when I woke up. Everything was a pose from my side... “

“You what?” San was taken aback from what Hongjoong declared. 

“I felt like the worst person alive so… If you think I was rude with you… you should ask Seonghwa how I behave with him.” Hongjoong shook his head, but did not look away from his friend’s eyes. “I couldn’t tell you… I was ashamed.” 

“That’s not something to hide from me.” San stated after couple minutes of silence. No matter what Hongjoong thought he did wrong, there was no way of him to support him in eating himself from guilt. Yes, he probably was going to make him eat shit for what he had done but after all that’s why he was beside him right? 

“I manipulated him from the beginning, I think. I can’t say.. I don’t know… the bond is making everything so blurry. At one moment I am myself, in the next he is beside me and I can’t think about anything else.” 

“You realize this is the most you’ve told me in months right?” 

“Yes.” 

There was a long silence before San opened his mouth again. 

“Things changed after the attack?”

“After I threw you out of the house…” Hongjoong admitted once again. “You told me he was making efforts while I was blind or something like that…”

“And your rut? You sexed him and now you two are okay?” 

“Were you sneaking out of the window or what?” Hongjoong was astonished at how quickly San was catching upon the information he was giving him. 

“Yeah, because I have nothing better to do than to stalk over your sex life.” San scoffed once again. 

“I told him, he shared his side of the story… now we’re back on track. We’re trying to work it out again.” 

“Good to know.” San finally let out a sigh which he was not aware he was holding. He really had been stressed over the whole thing. 

“Now you know everything. Don’t have strange ideas that you’re on the second place.. you’re not.” The almighty alpha crumbled down and hugged the keeper. His emotions were all over the place. He really didn’t like what San had told him. 

“Yeah, right.” San obviously cringed. “I have Mingi you know… he will not switch me that easily as you did.” 

And that was it. They were themselves afterwards, that last comment from San made both of them laugh. Their laughter echoed through the area and for a moment there, both of them were once again their younger selves - the ones who made a prank on someone and ran away right before they were caught, so in the end someone else was to blame for their mischievousness. 

Suddenly, they were both startled by noise coming from the bushes. 

“Sorry to interrupt you guys.” Yunho’s voice announced their arrival. Hongjoong could not hide his smile when his eyes fell over Seonghwa’s naked body. 

“Welcome to the naked party.” San shouted out randomly, typically said in his own style. 

“I’m jumping in.” Seonghwa told Yunho and knocked him to the side with one push as he paced faster, doing nothing to hide since it was clear as the sky that night that all four of them saw more than they had to. He missed to even look at San, just threw him a hand wave before he leaned down and kissed the top of Hongjoong’s head. “I missed you.” He mumbled, reaching up to mess Hongjoong’s wild blonde hair and then left his side, preparing to jump into the lake. 

“And in that corner we have one of the bestest lifeguard that Jeju can provide.” Yunho raised his voice, approaching slowly as he was nice enough to hide his private parts with a hand, smiling at Seonghwa when he glanced back at him. 

A moment later, the black haired alpha jumped gracefully into the lake, diving in precisely like a fish, not even leaving a splash after himself. 

Yunho joined the other two and sat down on a rock, wearing a proud smile. “Hongjoong I bet you can’t outswim that bastard. He can beat you in one thing at least. Jeez, that makes me a proud keeper.”

“Let’s bet on them then.” San beat Hongjoong over. He smiled evilly at Yunho then continued “The one that loses will carry the other to the house; on two legs, of course.” He raised his hand towards Yunho, who wasted no time to shake it. “You will lose.” 

“I really worry about your sanity, guys.” With that he stood up nakedly gracefully with a smirk on his face. “Prepare to carry San, Yunho.”

“You better worry for your short keeper.” Yunho waved in front of his face and made a motion towards the water. “Go on, show me what you’ve got. I know my boy, he never disappointed me.”

“Short but flexible, thank you very much.” Hongjoong commented and ran towards the water. He did not follow his mate’s example with jumping childishly into the water - since once the blonde one noticed that Seonghwa was floating on the surface, staring at him expectantly, he slowed down his pace and provocatively dived into the water. 

“How much you missed me exactly?” Once he was near Seonghwa, Hongjoong asked mischievously. 

The other swam closer, approaching him with a knowing expression on his face. “I can show you better than I can tell you.” He said, feeling like that was the lamest pick up line that one could use. 

“Hmmm…” Hongjoong jumped onto Seonghwa and hugged him around the neck, while wrapping his legs around the other’s waist. “To the point that you will willingly let me win a bet with your keeper?” 

“That’s a treason against my best friend, you know.” Seonghwa caught the playful note that his mate’s voice had and bit his bottom lip, wrapping his arms around him as well. “Depends on what you will do for me in return, I can manage losing willingly.”

Hongjoong pecked Seonghwa’s lips. “Declare your demands.” With that he started leaving small pecks over the other’s face, not giving him time to reply at first. When a chuckle ripped the black haired alpha’s chest, it made Hongjoong’s heart swirl. That only encouraged him to continue, so he naturally proceeded with showing his affection towards the other’s neck, and most specifically his favorite spot on Seonghwa’s neck. “It’s starting healing.” He mumbled disapprovingly. 

“You can always bite me.” Seonghwa replied, already tilting his head to the other side to give Hongjoong better access to his neck. His eyes closed as he felt the light kisses over his skin. A cold thrill ran through his spine and he slid his hands low, grabbing his mate’s firm butt. “And about your offer…. I can let you win that bet if you let me do whatever I want to you right after they leave. You better hurry.”

“Now that sounds interesting. Deal.” Hongjoong kissed the mark once again, but did not proceed with the biting. That was not an act for which he wanted audience. Seonghwa’s only his and nobody else to see in such state. 

Without saying anything else, Hongjoong pushed back Seonghwa and tilted his head towards the other side of the shore. “Let me win my bet then.” He started swimming towards his destination without turning around to see if Seonghwa was keeping his side of the deal. 

Seonghwa laughed, figuring out what kind of a stupid bet Hongjoong had with Yunho. And damn, he hated to lose swimming races. 

“This is so unfair.” He mumbled quietly, starting off a slow pace, watching over the blonde head of his mate while he was swimming at his full speed towards the other side of the chore. 

“Come on, man, I don’t wanna carry San. Have you seen how fat he is?” Yunho shouted from behind and Seonghwa just slowed down even more, pretending that he had a hard time in moving his limbs. 

He heard San’s quiet whining afterwards, speaking about how light he was, but Seonghwa was getting further away from them. He spotted Hongjoong reaching the final destination and his mind started running wild with thoughts about what was going to happen later. 

Yunho announced the win with a loud shout ‘Traitor!’, to which Seonghwa couldn’t really respond. All that he saw right now was his mate and how he was just casually lifting himself up to sit down on a rock. 

Seonghwa’s heart started to pick up pace as he dived into the water, showing his speed now as he started kicking and pushing the water, making his way closer to his mate. He got his head out of the water with a splash that startled the fake winner. 

And just like that, Seonghwa suddenly forgot around their keepers and just put his hands on Hongjoong’s knees, spreading them apart so he could move in between and look up at his mate with a sly smile on his lips. 

“Was that slow enough?” He asked, trailing his eyes from the other’s face down to his naked chest, watching how the drops of water were falling down, making him feel a strong urge to lick them away from his skin. “I’m turned on. Like badly.” Seonghwa stated, glancing up to his face again.

Hongjoong smirked knowingly. His attention was stolen from his mate’s face for a second or two when he noticed how San jumped onto Yunho’s back and pulled his hair in order to direct him in the opposite direction of the mated couple. They were gone within seconds.

“I can help with that.” Hongjoong replied to Seonghwa “I won … you can do whatever you want with me.” 

“You won, my ass.” Seonghwa snickered, throwing him a sarcastic smile. But the fire in him washed away the amusement quickly and he bit his bottom lip, imagining all the chances that he had to make his mate feel good. He could just keep him there on the rock, he could pull him down in the water, he could do so much, but the distance between them was too much, so he put his hands on Hongjoong’s waist and chose to pull him into the water. 

“And since when you became so provocative?” He asked while pushing Hongjoong’s back against the rocks, trapping it with his own. His lips quickly found the red spot on the other’s neck and he bit it playfully, moving one hand under the water to touch the other’s beautiful body. The water made his movements harder, making him fight for what he wanted and the feeling of that made Seonghwa more urgent to keep going.

Despite the situation, Hongjoong gathered his sense enough to reply to the question the other threw at him. “There is a saying…. you start living with someone, then you become like them.” He whispered into Seonghwa’s ear huskily, then he grabbed Seonghwa by the hair and forcefully pulled him for open-mouthed kiss. One which they were depriving themselves during the whole day. Seonghwa’s hand was picking a faster pace and soon the passion was getting too much to Hongjoong. “Let’s skip the teasing?” 

“Really?” Seonghwa wanted to do the same, but he still felt like asking. The kiss left him a bit breathless, so he used to time to catch his breath and moved his hand away from Hongjoong’s member, leaning to the side so he could start of a small game. He knew that the other would get what he wanted eventually, since he was almost never leaving Seonghwa to do whatever he wanted. But he let him win that bet, didn’t he? “Stay still.” He ordered, leaving a small kiss to the other’s neck, caressing his skin with his tongue piercing a moment later. His hands moved under the water, pulling Hongjoong up again and the other was smart enough to wrap his legs around him fast enough.

And then they both moved in synch. Seonghwa penetrated him passionately, they both moaned into the action as he bit Hongjoong’s neck, releasing a quiet growl when he pushed his hips further, getting fully into him with another push. 

Hongjoong was tightly gripping Seonghwa’s shoulders with one hand while with the other he was ruffling his hair, to the point of pulling it. The intensity with which Seonghwa was taking him right now was edging him from the beginning. Hongjoong’s mind was a full mess. He could not make a straight thought. 

“Missed you…. love you.” The words were rolling out of his lips mindlessly, and that only gave Seonghwa more power to ravish him. Hongjoong felt but paid no mind to the rock behind him onto which his back was scratching. 

Seonghwa’s pleasured groan which he released right onto Hongjoong’s lips, almost drived the blond one crazy, so he did the only thing that he knew would craze Seonghwa even more. 

He bit onto Seonghwa … but he did not stop onto his mark. He started biting whatever part of the other’s skin he could taste on. 

“Shit.” Seonghwa growled, leaving the other express his own passion. He started pounding into him, thrusting faster and harder until he started hearing Hongjoong’s quiet moans that died into his skin whenever he bit him. At first, Seonghwa wanted to tell him that this act was going to finish quickly since both of them were in a rush, but he lost his words when he started to feel the building up tension that made him go wild on the other. He gripped Hongjoong’s thighs hard, biting his bottom lip until it started bleeding. 

And then with several more hard thrusts, he came without giving the other any warning. The way that pleasure shook him along with Hongjoong’s stimulation made the feeling expand in such a pleasant way that he closed his eyes, holding back his breath for a moment. Seonghwa was shaking, scratching his mate’s legs so hard that he was sure he gave him back all the wounds. 

“Fuck... “ He mumbled senselessly, his mind getting lost into Hongjoong and the way that he couldn’t stop abusing his skin. It felt so endearing that somewhere deep within, Seonghwa knew that everything between them was right. It felt right to the point that he wanted to share it with Hongjoong. Share the feeling that the other was so easily expressing in front of him. 

It felt right to give him back everything that Hongjoong was willingly sharing with him. 

Seonghwa had no idea how long it took him to gather up his mind again, but he didn’t want to leave his mate hanging. His eyes opened and he looked at the other, witnessing the prettiest sight in the world. Hongjoong’s lips were bloody, his eyes lidded with a heavy look filling them. He looked so damn beautiful that Seonghwa didn’t keep his words back for himself anymore. 

“Me too.” He said out of the blue, hiding himself in the other’s neck as he left a kiss over his mark, pulling out of him in order to fulfil his next task and give him pleasure. “I love you too.”

Hongjoong mind was so dazed that at first he didn’t understand what Seonghwa was saying, but when he gathered his mind, he couldn’t stop his heart from quickening its beats. He had no time in dwelling into that pure for of happiness when Seonghwa’s hand once again found his erected member and started quickly stroking it.

If that was love, then Hongjoong never wanted to go back to before. Even if he wanted to prolong this moment, the quick pace that Seonghwa set onto was getting to him, while his other hand continued to abuse his left thigh. The pleasure became too much for Hongjoong and without having any regrets, he came into his mate’s hand. 

He was absolutely boneless into Seonghwa’s hands afterwards. He was completely sated both mentally and physically. 

“Say it again.” He mumbled quietly, having almost no strength at all. 

“I love you.” Seonghwa replied with such ease that he could thank his freaked out mind to the point that he didn’t feel wrong by speaking those words. It felt easy to speak up his mind, but the price came when he looked at Hongjoong’s face and watched how he literally melted when he heard it. He leaned in and kissed the tip of Hongjoong’s nose lightly before he dropped him down with no warning, smiling when the other lost balance and fell under the water. 

“That’s for not staying still when I told you so, mate.”

Hongjoong was so out of it that he actually gulped down water. When he emerged onto the surface, he accusingly stared at the other. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“Race me now, loser.” Seonghwa blew a kiss at him and dived into the water, swimming away from his mate with such pace that he wanted to laugh at himself. The feeling that started to spread in his chest was distractive, he had no idea if Hongjoong followed him, but it didn’t care. While he swam to the other side of the lake, Seonghwa started to think about them, about what he wanted to experience with Hongjoong. 

It was a frightening thought, the more that he swam, the clearer his mind was getting. All that happiness, all the good moments after the storm that passed, was that really going to be the same? 

He wasn’t used to having happiness and his family had provided nothing good to him. Whenever Seonghwa was happy, it meant that he was about to lose something or get hurt. 

He realized that this was what stopped him to open up in front of Hongjoong and let him in his heart. The fear of being happy. 

Now, no matter how brave he felt, how free, Seonghwa already declared his feelings. He let his guards down and it was almost impossible to build up walls in a place where they were completely destroyed. 

He was once again selfish, because this time he really wanted to feel all of that. With him, the strongest person who stood beside him despite everything bad that had happened to them. 

Hongjoong, the one that managed to make him love.

  
  


**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see, but we are back now!  
> We wrote that chapter as fast as we could, so we hope that you are gonna enjoy it!  
> More feelings showing up, we put some additional drama with our side -kicks xD  
> We promised some happy characters and we provide them.  
> Of course with a biiiit of a smut, but it's just how Hwa and Joong express their love, okay? xDD  
> Have fun reading and we hope that you will keep commenting!  
> Your comments are always motivating us to keep writing <3  
> See you in the next update !


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